Friendship

The ever resourceful Conan sent me a link of a little video that highlights the friendship between a kitten and a rooster. They play together (more like the cat plays and the rooster does not do anything) and they sleep together (not shag, just sleep). What is interesting is that the cat actually seeks the rooster. It makes the effort to hang out with the poultry.

It got me thinking about human friendships, and how they are sometimes difficult. Is it because we are inherently selfish and only think of what this relation will bring us? Is it because we think too much about strategy and how we should evolve within this relationship? Is it perhaps that we are just too sensitive as creatures? Is it a trust thing? What is it exactly that complicates our interactions?

Can't we just hang out, eat, and just chill? Do we really have to think that some have ulterior motives? Why can't we just be like the cat and the rooster? Is our consciousness (in a way) killing us to the point that we are unable to just be? Is that why only children have decent friendships? And past age 10 or 11, it all just goes to hell?

Am I being too cynical here or am I justified in thinking that humans unnecessarily complicate their existence?

Just to be clear...

I am not addicted to drugs or whatever... I am simply wondering about that point of no return, from habit to addiction...

Work has been interesting in these past couple of days. I don't usually talk about work in itself, except to complain perhaps about some bathroom issues... But lately, the situation pretty much requires that i write about it or i will go nuts. It has started to eat me up, and frankly, it ain't healthy to be pissed off at work. I am finding myself stuck. The environment is totally polluted as everyone is looking to discharge oneself from their duties, or to do a transference of their state of anger (even cold rage) on someone else... I find myself soaking up some of this negative energy, and worst of all, I find myself being angry, pissed, and just in an overall bad mood.

So I just went and relieved my soul to management, and I feel better. I don't know if much will come of it (I will wait one week and push again), but at least, they are aware of the situation.

Meanwhile, I am almost done with The Autograph Man. It took me some time to finish this book, and it's not for lack of enthusiam or anything, but just not reading fast enough (or exhaustion in general)... And that's it for me...

Oh yeah, one last thing, got another toy! I am the proud owner of an HP pavilion dv5036EA. There is now at home, a grand total of 3 laptops. Can you say geek?

Habit and Addiction

I am writing again about habit and addiction because it is a subject that I’ve been thinking about often lately. I was actually wondering how the switch comes to be from habit to an actual full-fledged addiction.

Because let’s face it, the definition of habit is in a way comforting, but even hearing the word addiction worries you. You know it is a bad thing. Addiction implies an obsessive behavior, a behavior that is negative. Per its definition, addiction means "to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively" (www.m-w.com).So how does the switch happen? Is it an incapacity to control a particular behavior? Is it something so good that It pushes to an excess?

One can be addicted to all kinds of things… a person, a star, an author, a concept, a belief, a substance… I suppose that as humans we are weak. We tend to succumb to one thing or another. We’d like to extend the feeling of pleasure that we experience thanks to this addiction. We don’t want to let go of this feeling because it’s like a ray of sun on a gray and dark day. It brings us joy, hope, and a feeling of ease.

Addiction does however have its dark sides, as it pushes us to behave stupidly, to ruin ourselves (be it mental, physical, or financial), and ultimately to lose who we are… All we end up thinking about is that ray. We forget that the storm always comes to an end, and that the weather ultimately changes.

the trouble

The troube with habit... It is horrible. You get used to something or someone, or some activity, and you end up hooked on it... It becomes well... a habit, which is by definition a "settled tendency or usual manner of behavior". We acquire habits by doing the same actions, by becoming more comfortable in performing them, and by getting a nice satisfactory feeling. It could be getting the same flavor ice cream, or the same route to work/home, or being complimented consistently.

The trouble with habit is that it is good because we know what to expect. We know what's coming our way, and we're prepared for it. So when there is a break in that habit, a silence, no dark chocolate flavor, a closed route, we get a little stuck... a little disappointed, a little scared, a little stunned.

Habit is great, but habit really sucks. It tricks us into comfort. It numbs us. The best habit is NOT to have any habits.

bummed, bummed, and bummed...

So I looked for my Robert Plant and could not find it!!! I am in a bit of panic mode... I will turn over the entire house tonight to locate the bloody piece of paper... I am pretty sure that the concert is sold out and I'd rather not fourk out 20 DT again (but i will if if have to and can)...

Lots of projects are coming to an end at work, so I am hoping that things will be smoother...

On a totally different note, I was thinking about fashion, and how for those that do follow it (make an effort to be part of the "in" crowd) just all look the same. My intentions were to write a proper blog entry on this, but I could not because I can't seem to find the time anymore... Now that I have this opportunity to write, and I'm just gonna go with the flow. So fashion sucks, and those who follow it end up looking like everyone else, some manufactured look by some designer... And the result is a bunch of personality-devoided people all looking the same.

That's all the venting for today. Thanks for listening ;)

catching up

Hello folks... It's been a while, yes I know. The thing I wanted so much to avoid (routine) is getting back... A bit haunted by bad code and HTML going crazy. The best (so to speak) was dreaming about ASP errors the other night.

Took the weekend off and went to the lovely island of Djerba. It was sooo very good to just chill, eat, drink, sleep, and catch up on the reading. There's not much going on really except for work. There is this week, the guitar festival, so I will be going this friday to see Robert Plant, of Led Zeppelin (if I find the ticket... it's somewhere "lost" at home).

Otherwise, it's trying to breath a little bit outside of work, and explore around me...

Can you say "screw you guys"?

Well, that's pretty much it for me... I am at the end of the week... Much in need to sleep, gaze at green pastures and eat (much like a cow or cat actually)... So this week-end, I shall do NOTHING.

priorities in life...

so i was talking this past couple of days with friends and family about our priorities in life, and how they very much differ from one person to another... some people work crazy hours, others are content with the 40 hours... some people will interrupt their life to do charity work, missionary work, etc... others will put family before anything...

How do we come up with our priorities? and how do we determine if they are what they should be? Isn't it very possible that we are for example working too hard? Not thanking God enough? Not doing "good" enough (and by that I don't mean not doing bad, but consciously doing good), or ignoring other people's poverty or poor overall conditions...

Don't we sometimes stray?

Finally!

Finally got some time to breathe and write a couple of lines... I've been swamped with work these pas couple of days and all the paperwork anyone can handle for all kinds of B.S...

Finally got my car yesterday :) I am very excited... I love my rims! I drove for almost 100 km... Getting used to manual shifting and having a blast improving my technique in my own car!

I started reading "The Autograph Man" by Zadie Smith. This is her 2nd novel, and so far, I am enjoying it.

after much thought...

I decided, after much much thought, that whomever had a problem with my attitude can just f*ck off.

Now, I am not saying that there's not always room for self-improvement, but I will not cater to your inferiority complex, your unecessarily complicated vision of life, or your overtly sensitiveness.

So there. I feel much better now after getting to this conclusion. If you find offense with me, go see a shrink and simplify your existence.

Cheers on a sunny day.

Introspection

I was thinking about how differently we can appear to one person or to another. Occasionally, we put on different faces, it's true. You behave differently depending on whether you talk to your boss, to your client, to your colleague, to your mother, to your friend, or to your aunt. We need to behave differently because each one knows us from a different aspect. In fact, the whole of "one", of the Ego is only truly known to ourselves. And in fact, do we really know who we are? It's a difficult question... it all depends on perception and perception differs from one person to another.

The concept of introspection is new and is very well... unreliable. How objective can one be about oneself? And why is it that if you behave the same way towards friend A or friend B, that A perceives you differently than B? Is it because the sensitivities of A are different from B? Does one need more care than the other? And if A perceives you differently, should you care?

Again, more random thoughts, and this time, on a rainy day... But I'd be curious to hear what you guys think, or if you've read something that you deem interesting. Introspection is all about perception, and both are difficult concepts to grasp.

Superstition

I was thinking this weekend over the concept of superstition... What it is, what it means, and why we have it. Some of the things are common to regions, some are found in countries. For example, in the mediterranean, there is the concept of the evil eye. The evil eye is similar to being jinxed... it means that people, with envy (and there bad eye), will bring you misfortune. In order to protect yourself from the evil eye, you wear a pendant or a bracelet or whatever... Another concept in North Africa is the hand of fatima, which you have on yourself, and should be made of silver. In India, seeing a young girl in the morning means you will have a good day, whereas seeing a widow means the countrary. Some concepts are (almost) universal, such as seeing a black cat... or knocking on wood for good fortune.

How exactly did these concept come to be? Why should it be made out of silver, and how did the design of this evil eye develop? What is it with black cats? Does believing in one thing or the other affect you as a person? Is superstition like a placebo?

Does a string of bad luck means you are unlucky (and what is luck anyway?) or that you were "stricken" with the bad eye? Or is it just cause and consequence in some weird cosmic order of things that made things the way they are?

I am a strong believer in cause and consequence and when a random event keeps on repeating itself, I just wonder.

Perhaps superstition is a way, a reason for us humans, to justify the bad things, the random sh*t that hits all of us ones in a while. If it is a nasty day, it must be the evil eye, or the black cat, or the widow. It can't be because you were clumsy and tired, and you hit yourself, or a colleague infected you with a virus, or a drunk driver hit you, and it just happened to be you, not the person after you. And if it's a nasty string that is hitting you, perhaps sacrificing a lamb will help improve your karma.

Random thoughts on a sunny day...

it is over yet?

I very badly want this week to be over. Haven't had the opportunity to even read other blogs or news or anything. Just work and trying to recover mentally and physically. I think I'm going to spend the weekend baking (it always relaxes me) and distribute to friends and family... In the meantime counting down the hours to end of the business day...

Different peeing techniques

So I am (for now) in a very interesting work environment. I am the only female, surrounded by guy colleagues. It's a very interesting atmosphere, and it really helps that I grew up with male cousins and that throughout school, most of my good friends were guys... Anyway...

The point of this blog is ... well... peeing. As you all know (I hope), men and women pee differently. For women, in public places, there is the hover technique, the put paper-all-over technique, the just-f*ck-it-i'm-sitting technique, and many others (please do share yours).

For guys, I guess, and correct me if I'm wrong, there is the, lift or no lift technique. I can tell that at work, these are the 2 ones used, because either the seat is lifted, or I find "remnants" over the seat. So the question is, why is it so hard to aim? Or is it some sort of pleasure to just sing a song and sway from left to right while peeing? What is it that unables you guys (some of you at least) to pee on the seat?

Come on now guys... Just pee (some pun intended hehe)

The art of pressure aka nagging

I hate it. I f*cking hate those who nag, those who will ask me the same damned question over and over and over again. I just... urgh. Either these people have a short term memory and forgot that they've already asked me the same question so many times... Or, I don't know. I guess some people just enjoy doing it, or just don't realize it.

Sometimes this comes from your boss, your parent, a friend, or whatever. And well, just... F*ck off, ok. I know what I need to do, I know the delays, and f*ck, I'll do it when I get around doing it.

Ok. I feel better. I just hate being pressured, and I had to hurt the keyboard.

Soap box

I realized that blogging was somewhat therapeutic... Subzeroblue talked about blogging vs. psychiatry, and I realized that my blog enabled me not only to vent, but share this venting... Meaning, I can climb on my soap box, I'll have a small audience who will be with or against me, and frankly, I like that (I know that sounds corny).

These days, for everyone and for different reasons, one feels more pressure, be it from the boss, your mom, your significant other, your colleagues, or anyone in general around you... And knowing that you can let off steam and sometimes learn a way to deal with it through a blog is a good healthy economical solution.

So thanks readers for being my shrinks ;)

still waiting...

Nothing much going on, still waiting to hear news about my car... Checking for delays, production dates, etc... So I guess I am a bit antsy about it because I want to get it out of the way and drive my 16 inch alloy wheels...

On another note, an interesting quote from Heart Seizure:
"He had once said, "Look. If you're wealthy when a candidate takes office, you'll be wealthy when a candidate leaves office, assuming you don't lose money yourself. Conversely, if you're poor when a candidate takes office, then, absent your own efforts to improve your position, you'll be poor when that candidate leaves office. We politicians might make it slightly easier or a little more difficult to improve your net worth, but most of the work is up to the people" (page 188).

This is interesting in itself as people always vote for this or that issue, and always think in the end about their pocketbook... Few vote on issues, and issues in and of themselves cannot be the only drive you have to vote for a candidate. You cannot just look at one thing and vote for this or that candidate because in the end you are limiting yourself... At the same time, politicians won't make you wealthier, it is up to you to suck it up, buckle up, and just do it (work that is ;)

Sense of priorities

What an ass wipe. I am referring to Bush, and him requesting more money to fund war. Instead of cash being spent on education, public housing, or people stricken by the hurricane, he is feeding this war machine that is bringing nothing productive. Only death, destruction, and further head from the rest of the world.

Bush is giving the US such a nasty reputation as a country... Because let's face it, people will associate the leader with the people, despite the fact that he "won" under the weirdest circumstances and that most people (sadly) did not go to vote. But it's a shame, and I bet the drilling in Alaska and other places will restart (or commence) to further feed his ego maniacal crazy ego.

Can you say beump?

In the famous words of Inspector Clouseau "(I) have received a beump upon the head" (from the movie, The Pink Panther Strikes Again)... Why you ask? Because I am reaching to get a CD from the car, and "beumped" my head against the bloody car... Mind you, with such force, that I did get a bump within a minute or even less (I kid you not). You can't imagine the pain, and the burning you feel when you apply ice... It has not turned blue (for now), and thanks to pain killers, I was able to sleep relatively smoothly... It still hurts when I touch it, and I swear, if I remember which stupid ass CD it was, I will trample it.

Grant it, it was my stupidity, but still, I am blaming the CD. So there. Thankfully, I've not noticed any changes in brain functions... but please, if I start listening to hip hop or teen bop music, talking rubish about the green party or the left, let me know, and I'll go and get my head examined...

what's shaking

* Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one (George Carlin)
* Tunisians are always in a hurry and always late (mine)

Nothing much going on really, just work, and reading... I've been feeling very much in a weird mood... I'm listening to Fearless (Pink Floyd, Meddle) almost 4 or 5 times a day, and I guess it makes me happy and sad at the same time (particularly the following lyrics: You pick the place and I'll choose the time / And I'll climb / That hill in my own way / Just wait a while for the right day.

Otherwise, advancing nicely with my reading, and already looking forward to the weekend...

Depending on how today goes, I might have brilliant news soon (can you say 16 inch rims?)

;)