16 July 2008

Dazed and Confused

I'm not sure what on earth is going on in my head these past few days, but am most definitely confused. I'm having difficulty seeing clearly, making or taking decisions, and worse, can't seem to act on anything. This does not fit me as a behavior and I don't know how to snap out of it.
Anyways... I am hoping to snap out of it and get on with life.

14 July 2008

Choices in life...

I've just come back from an excellent week-end at the beach. It was truly wonderful because we were a group of 12 persons or so, and we were completely isolated. No phone, no people, nothing around. The person who organizes the whole thing is officially someone who deals with ACs. He started taking groups to beaches and the desert because he is very good at this (and he proved it).
This guy's choices in life, what he does, how he lives, and how he is, are quite interesting. He does not "conform" to the average 8 to 5 office life. I guess it takes some guts to choose to live like this, but he is living his life.
This dude brought me to thinking about my own choices in life, and the good thing i guess, is that i am always re-evaluating my life, always re-evaluating my choices. I suppose there's confort in knowing that it's never too late to opt for something else, and that one has the opportunity to steer courses.
Live your life... Be free.

08 July 2008

Feeling blah...

Feeling angry and sad at the same time.
Feeling somewhat trapped.
Feeling sorrow.
Feeling pain.

04 July 2008

Nice gals and guys finish last...really.

It saddens me to realize that bitches rule. I came to the realization these past couple of years that actually, those guys and gals who demand stuff, who behave like girly girls, are the ones that are actually getting what they want.

Let me explain myself... By nature, I am not someone who asks for stuff, makes demands, or anything like that. If I want something, I'll get it myself, or I'll make subtle hints. Subtlety does not work. Because I guess when you do ask, you make it clear what you want. When you just throw hints or stop in front of a watch, or camera, or dress, it might not be obvious enough. Who would have thought it? Consequently, you don't make demands... you don't ask for stuff but somehow you wish that the "other" will realize it and surprise you. You wish and biggest mistake of all... you hope. Hope is for loosers. It saddens me very much to say it. But it seems that the reality of life is not an ideal. It is not some sort of best scenario stuff. I give you stuff you like, for no reason, and perhaps, you will do the same for me because.... just because.

Well no.

Bitches, or those women who demand stuff before they get married, or after they get married, or while they are engaged, or girlfriends or whatever... well, it sucks to say it, it really sucks to say it, but they have it right. Like i said, being a loud mouth or marketing yourself as a friend recently told me, seems to be the way to go.

This totally changes my way of viewing life. It totally changes my concept of how one should behave vis-à-vis others, but I don't know... I don't want to be cynical like that. I think it's cheap and demeaning. I also think that it's unhealthy.... But ... but... i don't know.