Crashing and not burning

Thanks to all of you guys for your nice words. The accident was much more felt by my nerves than by my car, which is now in process of being repared. So I did crash in front of someone in front of me not to be crashed into by someone next to me. Spent the past couple of days dealing with insurance and the person that I crashed into.

I am finally taking a couple of days off, and going I hope to the beach to swim, take photos, and chill. Toutou will not be coming, and I hope she won't attack the plants around the house to throw up after (in memory of Zipir).

I don't know anymore if I am being true to myself, or somehow due to sick circumstances and the way things are here, that I have to change a bit into someone a bit meaner. It's a matter really of not getting scewed over or taking it all in. I am still struggling with the choice.

Hope all of you guys are well.

As the driver..

I've made new rules, and I will do my best to keep them. It is very clear that sometimes, parting ways is the only way, and the best way... So I am not forcing myself anymore into situations where I clearly am unhappy. That's pretty much the way it's going to be... It's not really "my way or the highway" but really "I've given it way too many chances, things are not working, I think I'm just gonna call it quits".

This will most definitely be applicable to all sides of my life, and again, with all these big decisions that I make/take once in a while, I have this enormous sense of relief. So that is that.

On a more sunny note, I finally will take a couple of days off this week. On a less sunny note, I got into a car accident today. What else? Lots of ups and downs these days, and I'm not sure anymore what direction to take.

People seriously need to get a grip here. It's unbelievable how childich they can be and how "sensitive" they are... or rather, they think they are taking the high road and doing their part in whatever, when in fact, all they want is to be able to say whatever the hell they want, for you to take it, and never ever say the same thing to them, because that would be "mean" to them.

The thing is, no matter how hard I try to keep my cool, I just always end up getting pissed. I don't know if I feel better really, but I get pissed, and in this country, one needs a lot of detachment (work, family) or ... or I don't know. Or you are pissed many times throughout the day like I am. The saying in Tunisia is "tirma berda" or "cold ass" (ass as in rear-end, not donkey)... So one needs to be a cool cold ass to make it... Still very much trying to do so.

Sigh...

In eleven months...

I moved with my cat from DC to Tunis
I changed my status
I got a job
I learned to drive stick-shift
I bought a car
I scratched my car
I visited 3 countries
I learned to play the guitar
I got sick several times
I thought about moving back to DC several times
I had many fights with many people because they tried to cut me off in lines
I missed my parents a lot (and still do)
I lost and regained my strength many times
I had many migraine headaches
I doubted myself often
I started a real-estate savings account
I enjoyed good food at my grandma's and aunts houses
I decided to be the driver, not the passenger

As i woke up this morning...

... i found myself thinking about the VW ad : In the road to(of) life, there are passengers, and there are drivers. I am not quite sure why I was thinking about, maybe because I've been talking a lot lately about cars and driving... Perhaps it also has to do with the fact that there is more thinking going on on being active or passive in life...

I wonder why we decide to choose the seat that we do : challenge or confort?

Ups and downs...

are due to who knows what... Although I have a strong feeling that I need a vacation that would enable me to put fresher ideas in my head, and forget a little bit about town, work, traffic, and third-world mentality. Days are passing with any added value, so to say, and I am just paddling to stay afloat.

Just very tired I guess... Too much heat, no appetite, and nothing exciting going on.