I posted something earlier about the concept of being "a man", and I've been thinking about being a woman. After all, a woman (one should hope) is more than a pair of tits and a ... you know what. Often a woman is judged by her appearance (hair, nails, clothes, scent, ...) and her "attitude". It is expected of a woman to be soft and loving, it is expected that she behaves with deference, with grace, with softness... It is expected that she speaks softly, that she has proper manners, and elegance... and be sexy.
That is a lot of pressure sometimes... Because women are sometimes expected to behave perfectly, and if not, there is always the sense that women are not "performing" to their best... If a woman enjoys cars or chooses not to care about her appearance (by which I mean that she does not put make up on daily, that she wears pants, and wears her hair in a poney tail), she is considered to be manly, or not feminine...
A woman alos has to work, take care of her home, and expect to be paid less because she is "bound" to get pregnant (so much for human ressources... aaah... the poor employer loses 2 months of work). If a woman is sexually healthy (not shy about being sexually active), tells it how it is, is not afraid to drink, and speaks her mind, well... that woman does not fit the typical image. That woman becomes something else.
So... what is a woman? A creature that lives longer than man? A creature with a complex hormonal system? A partner that behaves like an angel publicly and like a devil privately? Why do we have expectations? Why don't we just deal with a person before considering her gender?
31 January 2007
22 January 2007
Saturday Night Fever
It started with a simple sentence: “I wanna go dancing this Saturday”. I was (as usual) ok with that. I agreed… We decided on the place and the time… And on that delightful warm evening in Tunis, we headed towards the club…
There’s a bar right next to the club. We decide to go to the bar for a drink and head to the night club afterwards.
Then it started: the security guys started: it’s all full in there, it’s all full in there… We’re like, ok we’ll deal with it. We approach the place and some dude with a list that resembles the printout receipt of my favorite grocery store. He asked: Do you have a reservation? To which we answered: we have a friend who does. And we throw a name. The dude whips the “list” out and says ok. I very much doubt the fact that the guy even looked at the list.
We go in. We get a drink, we schmooze, and we decide that it’s time to shake it. We get our stuff, and we go to the nightclub… Then it starts…
Fist off (actually I should not be counting because there are so many things that it will get tiring for you and for me to enumerate them…), we are assaulted with smoke. We find a spot, put our stuff (that’s why I hate the cold: always carrying a coat and all that crap), and look around. The people on our left seem to have consumed already an impressive number of drinks, and decide to dance on top of a mini platform. So right to our left, my view is blocked by a couple of asses clad in white. The asses expand and there are more people who decide that apparently we are not there and stand right in front of us, hence totally blocking our view. Greaaaat… more asses, and not the tight cute ones, the big fat ones, the flat ones, the skinny ones…
Come to think of it, our blocked view was not such a big deal, because sadly for some people with low IQs (IMHO), a football game can impact one’s mood. There were many people wearing the jersey of a winning football game (not a final, not whatever, just a game), and screaming with joy and happiness (chanting more like it) the name of the winning team. It was frankly like a zoo. So, to recap (so far): the smoke, the fat ass, the blocked view, and the dumbass football supporters.
Next (oooh, it continues!!!), some people come to our right and totally block some of us from dancing… Great. They kept on pushing some chairs and there was no way now that we could dance… Anyway… We make the most of it. Tight as it was, we dance cause that is why we came for. Mind you, all this time, I have to admit that the music is very average, that the DJ is very … I can’t even find the word. Just below average…
And there, when we expect it the least, we saw buckets of champagne coming from all sides. Some football fans, apparently overjoyed with their winning team (in retrospect, I should check this team’s performance… if the fans celebrate the wins this much, it could be because they win rarely, I am just wondering, I am not sure). There was so much vodka flowing around me, that I wished I was one of the shareholders of Danska or Absolut. I wonder if it’s not too late.
Ok, one more recap: the smoke, the fat asses, the blocked view, the low IQ football fans, no space to dance, the mediocre DJ, and the champagne. Just when we were starting to rationalize about the situation and make ourselves enjoy the place, a random song in Arabic starts. WTF? And when it’s done, there goes another… Mind you, I like some types of Arabic music, but for God’s sake, please provide some songs that you can at least dance to. After two songs, back to the crappy house music. And what do you hear all of a sudden? The sound of broken glass!!! Some fans apparently celebrated by breaking glasses… I thought it was some Greek tradition during weddings? But noooo, Tunisian football fans have their own new tradition now…. They broke a bunch of glasses, popped champagne bottles and passed them around.
And finally, to end the evening, a fight broke to our right. A bunch of guys started punching one another, and thankfully security showed up.
This was all we could take, we left and that was that. There are many other tidbits that I should also provide: a friend went to the ladies room and told me that it was apparently the … how should I put this delicately? You know the oldest job in the world? The ladies who do it? THOSE women were hanging out at the ladies room, some apparently undressing…
Another friend told me that one of the young dancers (a male mind you) asked him whether he should put his hair down or keep it tied… At some point, I saw some guy coming into the club with Santa’s hat on…
Ok. I don’t think I shall recap again… Let’s just say that I will probably not go there again… Unless… I don’t even know why I would go there again. There you go… The high note was that we had decided to get something to eat at 5 am… We opted for “lablabi”, a very popular dish in Tunisia (basically, boiled chick peas with lemon and cumin which are poured on top of cubed day-old bread, with of course some harissa). It is always great to eat some, and it was a delight. It almost made me forget about the evening.
That was my Saturday night out.
There’s a bar right next to the club. We decide to go to the bar for a drink and head to the night club afterwards.
Then it started: the security guys started: it’s all full in there, it’s all full in there… We’re like, ok we’ll deal with it. We approach the place and some dude with a list that resembles the printout receipt of my favorite grocery store. He asked: Do you have a reservation? To which we answered: we have a friend who does. And we throw a name. The dude whips the “list” out and says ok. I very much doubt the fact that the guy even looked at the list.
We go in. We get a drink, we schmooze, and we decide that it’s time to shake it. We get our stuff, and we go to the nightclub… Then it starts…
Fist off (actually I should not be counting because there are so many things that it will get tiring for you and for me to enumerate them…), we are assaulted with smoke. We find a spot, put our stuff (that’s why I hate the cold: always carrying a coat and all that crap), and look around. The people on our left seem to have consumed already an impressive number of drinks, and decide to dance on top of a mini platform. So right to our left, my view is blocked by a couple of asses clad in white. The asses expand and there are more people who decide that apparently we are not there and stand right in front of us, hence totally blocking our view. Greaaaat… more asses, and not the tight cute ones, the big fat ones, the flat ones, the skinny ones…
Come to think of it, our blocked view was not such a big deal, because sadly for some people with low IQs (IMHO), a football game can impact one’s mood. There were many people wearing the jersey of a winning football game (not a final, not whatever, just a game), and screaming with joy and happiness (chanting more like it) the name of the winning team. It was frankly like a zoo. So, to recap (so far): the smoke, the fat ass, the blocked view, and the dumbass football supporters.
Next (oooh, it continues!!!), some people come to our right and totally block some of us from dancing… Great. They kept on pushing some chairs and there was no way now that we could dance… Anyway… We make the most of it. Tight as it was, we dance cause that is why we came for. Mind you, all this time, I have to admit that the music is very average, that the DJ is very … I can’t even find the word. Just below average…
And there, when we expect it the least, we saw buckets of champagne coming from all sides. Some football fans, apparently overjoyed with their winning team (in retrospect, I should check this team’s performance… if the fans celebrate the wins this much, it could be because they win rarely, I am just wondering, I am not sure). There was so much vodka flowing around me, that I wished I was one of the shareholders of Danska or Absolut. I wonder if it’s not too late.
Ok, one more recap: the smoke, the fat asses, the blocked view, the low IQ football fans, no space to dance, the mediocre DJ, and the champagne. Just when we were starting to rationalize about the situation and make ourselves enjoy the place, a random song in Arabic starts. WTF? And when it’s done, there goes another… Mind you, I like some types of Arabic music, but for God’s sake, please provide some songs that you can at least dance to. After two songs, back to the crappy house music. And what do you hear all of a sudden? The sound of broken glass!!! Some fans apparently celebrated by breaking glasses… I thought it was some Greek tradition during weddings? But noooo, Tunisian football fans have their own new tradition now…. They broke a bunch of glasses, popped champagne bottles and passed them around.
And finally, to end the evening, a fight broke to our right. A bunch of guys started punching one another, and thankfully security showed up.
This was all we could take, we left and that was that. There are many other tidbits that I should also provide: a friend went to the ladies room and told me that it was apparently the … how should I put this delicately? You know the oldest job in the world? The ladies who do it? THOSE women were hanging out at the ladies room, some apparently undressing…
Another friend told me that one of the young dancers (a male mind you) asked him whether he should put his hair down or keep it tied… At some point, I saw some guy coming into the club with Santa’s hat on…
Ok. I don’t think I shall recap again… Let’s just say that I will probably not go there again… Unless… I don’t even know why I would go there again. There you go… The high note was that we had decided to get something to eat at 5 am… We opted for “lablabi”, a very popular dish in Tunisia (basically, boiled chick peas with lemon and cumin which are poured on top of cubed day-old bread, with of course some harissa). It is always great to eat some, and it was a delight. It almost made me forget about the evening.
That was my Saturday night out.
18 January 2007
Slacking
I know, sadly for myself, that I am not the most organized person. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I'd rather (almost always) do something else. This organization (or lack of it) touches many aspects of my life... I make lists, I write down the things that I should do daily, weekly, or monthly. I do do these things for a while, and then... then I don't. I am not sure if this is due to a lack of motivation, if I'd just rather lay down and watch James Bond, or what... I don't know, and I seriously would like to change this.
There's always this conflict in the morning: sleep 10 more minutes or make my bed/wash yesterday's dishes/etc... The conflict at night after getting home after work: tidying up a little, doing the little house chores, washing the dishes that I did not wash in the morning, ... or... or ordering a pizza, having something fresh to drink, putting my feet on the table and watching some movie.
The conflict is always between what I'd really like to do and what I should be doing. And after a couple of days of doing what I want to be doing (which means slacking), I get fed up of the mess, and clean.... Because I hate living in a mess... I know it's a contradiction, but that's how it is, and I am desperately (well... it's all relative you know...) trying to find a solution to this...
Any Advice?
There's always this conflict in the morning: sleep 10 more minutes or make my bed/wash yesterday's dishes/etc... The conflict at night after getting home after work: tidying up a little, doing the little house chores, washing the dishes that I did not wash in the morning, ... or... or ordering a pizza, having something fresh to drink, putting my feet on the table and watching some movie.
The conflict is always between what I'd really like to do and what I should be doing. And after a couple of days of doing what I want to be doing (which means slacking), I get fed up of the mess, and clean.... Because I hate living in a mess... I know it's a contradiction, but that's how it is, and I am desperately (well... it's all relative you know...) trying to find a solution to this...
Any Advice?
17 January 2007
What is a MAN?
I've been thinking recently about the concept of being a man... Man with a small "m" that is. The Male in other words... We have many ideas (and they differ from one society to another) on what it is to be a man. We hear many expressions every day about what a man does and what he does not.
For example, in Tunisia, whenever anything has to do with courage or the fact that you can depend on someone, you hear "he's a man" or "my friend is a man" or "truly he's a man". These expressions are sometimes even used when referring to women. So when someone impresses you, or does something that is unexpected, if you are a man or a woman, you will be qualified of a man.
Now... My question is: why? Why is it that all the positive attributes are attributed to a guy? Why god whyyyy?
Back to being serious. We say "he's crying like a little girl", "he drives like a woman", "he fights like a woman" and many other expressions... A guy is supposed to be strong, turstworthy, virile, and dependable. A woman (apparently) fights dirty, cries afterwards, and will crash into your car... WTF? These are the type of generalities that do drive me crazy.
I've heard of men recently with ZERO spine, with disturbing behavior, and with a confidence of a fruit fly. Generalities are sometimes useful and funny, but please, do consider that times have evolved, that today is not the same as yesterday... That women are present in different fields of work, and that actually, women end up working more because most feel that they have to prove themselves (and don't forget the housework!).
Anyways... End of tirade. Do tell what you think of these gender issues.
For example, in Tunisia, whenever anything has to do with courage or the fact that you can depend on someone, you hear "he's a man" or "my friend is a man" or "truly he's a man". These expressions are sometimes even used when referring to women. So when someone impresses you, or does something that is unexpected, if you are a man or a woman, you will be qualified of a man.
Now... My question is: why? Why is it that all the positive attributes are attributed to a guy? Why god whyyyy?
Back to being serious. We say "he's crying like a little girl", "he drives like a woman", "he fights like a woman" and many other expressions... A guy is supposed to be strong, turstworthy, virile, and dependable. A woman (apparently) fights dirty, cries afterwards, and will crash into your car... WTF? These are the type of generalities that do drive me crazy.
I've heard of men recently with ZERO spine, with disturbing behavior, and with a confidence of a fruit fly. Generalities are sometimes useful and funny, but please, do consider that times have evolved, that today is not the same as yesterday... That women are present in different fields of work, and that actually, women end up working more because most feel that they have to prove themselves (and don't forget the housework!).
Anyways... End of tirade. Do tell what you think of these gender issues.
09 January 2007
Taking the high road
And then I am back, from outer space...
Damnnnn it's been too long. I had missed writing dearly, and I find myself starting little text files at work and at home and never publishing anything... Anyways, there is so much to do and say that I am not sure I can even go that far back (perhaps there is no point anyways)...
I actually have been thinking about the concept of taking the high road and choosing the right path (in a way). It is of course morally righ to do the right thing. It is advisable, it is better, it is the way to be as a "good" and "decent" human being.
However... Does it pay to be the one always taking the high road and doing what is right?
Ok, so I am saying things in which I am not totally convinced myself. But bare with me... listen to what I have to say.... One example, one very simple example that we all encounter in our everyday life: traffic/driving. Frankly, no matter what, I will respect the traffic laws, always use my blinker, and never switch lanes like a mad person whose ass is on fire.
I decided to stick (most times) to the right-most lane, and just cruise comfortably... I observe people around, and sometimes it's just painful. If you are the person that will queue, you will see some dumb f*ck come on the right most lane (the one reserved for emergencies) or the left most lane (the one that is turning left) and cutting the people in front in order to go first. They are behaving like stupid cows, but they get to go first.
This is just an example... But every day we are faced with these situations: having to invite someone because you ought to, having to go somewhere, having to spend time with x or z, having to pay some bills, having to forego something because... There always seems to be a "because you are a better person and it is your 'duty'" type of sentence attached.
Well... F*ck that shit. I am getting tired of this. Why on earth should some go by life living however way they like and me having to take into account all these factors that might or might not affect them? Why is it that some people always have to think of others. It is true that inviting one more person to a party won't hurt, or you giving your turn one time or whatever...
Anyways, I still am not sure what I will do, but I am getting tired of this...
Damnnnn it's been too long. I had missed writing dearly, and I find myself starting little text files at work and at home and never publishing anything... Anyways, there is so much to do and say that I am not sure I can even go that far back (perhaps there is no point anyways)...
I actually have been thinking about the concept of taking the high road and choosing the right path (in a way). It is of course morally righ to do the right thing. It is advisable, it is better, it is the way to be as a "good" and "decent" human being.
However... Does it pay to be the one always taking the high road and doing what is right?
Ok, so I am saying things in which I am not totally convinced myself. But bare with me... listen to what I have to say.... One example, one very simple example that we all encounter in our everyday life: traffic/driving. Frankly, no matter what, I will respect the traffic laws, always use my blinker, and never switch lanes like a mad person whose ass is on fire.
I decided to stick (most times) to the right-most lane, and just cruise comfortably... I observe people around, and sometimes it's just painful. If you are the person that will queue, you will see some dumb f*ck come on the right most lane (the one reserved for emergencies) or the left most lane (the one that is turning left) and cutting the people in front in order to go first. They are behaving like stupid cows, but they get to go first.
This is just an example... But every day we are faced with these situations: having to invite someone because you ought to, having to go somewhere, having to spend time with x or z, having to pay some bills, having to forego something because... There always seems to be a "because you are a better person and it is your 'duty'" type of sentence attached.
Well... F*ck that shit. I am getting tired of this. Why on earth should some go by life living however way they like and me having to take into account all these factors that might or might not affect them? Why is it that some people always have to think of others. It is true that inviting one more person to a party won't hurt, or you giving your turn one time or whatever...
Anyways, I still am not sure what I will do, but I am getting tired of this...
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