Saturday Night Fever

It started with a simple sentence: “I wanna go dancing this Saturday”. I was (as usual) ok with that. I agreed… We decided on the place and the time… And on that delightful warm evening in Tunis, we headed towards the club…

There’s a bar right next to the club. We decide to go to the bar for a drink and head to the night club afterwards.

Then it started: the security guys started: it’s all full in there, it’s all full in there… We’re like, ok we’ll deal with it. We approach the place and some dude with a list that resembles the printout receipt of my favorite grocery store. He asked: Do you have a reservation? To which we answered: we have a friend who does. And we throw a name. The dude whips the “list” out and says ok. I very much doubt the fact that the guy even looked at the list.

We go in. We get a drink, we schmooze, and we decide that it’s time to shake it. We get our stuff, and we go to the nightclub… Then it starts…

Fist off (actually I should not be counting because there are so many things that it will get tiring for you and for me to enumerate them…), we are assaulted with smoke. We find a spot, put our stuff (that’s why I hate the cold: always carrying a coat and all that crap), and look around. The people on our left seem to have consumed already an impressive number of drinks, and decide to dance on top of a mini platform. So right to our left, my view is blocked by a couple of asses clad in white. The asses expand and there are more people who decide that apparently we are not there and stand right in front of us, hence totally blocking our view. Greaaaat… more asses, and not the tight cute ones, the big fat ones, the flat ones, the skinny ones…

Come to think of it, our blocked view was not such a big deal, because sadly for some people with low IQs (IMHO), a football game can impact one’s mood. There were many people wearing the jersey of a winning football game (not a final, not whatever, just a game), and screaming with joy and happiness (chanting more like it) the name of the winning team. It was frankly like a zoo. So, to recap (so far): the smoke, the fat ass, the blocked view, and the dumbass football supporters.

Next (oooh, it continues!!!), some people come to our right and totally block some of us from dancing… Great. They kept on pushing some chairs and there was no way now that we could dance… Anyway… We make the most of it. Tight as it was, we dance cause that is why we came for. Mind you, all this time, I have to admit that the music is very average, that the DJ is very … I can’t even find the word. Just below average…

And there, when we expect it the least, we saw buckets of champagne coming from all sides. Some football fans, apparently overjoyed with their winning team (in retrospect, I should check this team’s performance… if the fans celebrate the wins this much, it could be because they win rarely, I am just wondering, I am not sure). There was so much vodka flowing around me, that I wished I was one of the shareholders of Danska or Absolut. I wonder if it’s not too late.

Ok, one more recap: the smoke, the fat asses, the blocked view, the low IQ football fans, no space to dance, the mediocre DJ, and the champagne. Just when we were starting to rationalize about the situation and make ourselves enjoy the place, a random song in Arabic starts. WTF? And when it’s done, there goes another… Mind you, I like some types of Arabic music, but for God’s sake, please provide some songs that you can at least dance to. After two songs, back to the crappy house music. And what do you hear all of a sudden? The sound of broken glass!!! Some fans apparently celebrated by breaking glasses… I thought it was some Greek tradition during weddings? But noooo, Tunisian football fans have their own new tradition now…. They broke a bunch of glasses, popped champagne bottles and passed them around.
And finally, to end the evening, a fight broke to our right. A bunch of guys started punching one another, and thankfully security showed up.

This was all we could take, we left and that was that. There are many other tidbits that I should also provide: a friend went to the ladies room and told me that it was apparently the … how should I put this delicately? You know the oldest job in the world? The ladies who do it? THOSE women were hanging out at the ladies room, some apparently undressing…

Another friend told me that one of the young dancers (a male mind you) asked him whether he should put his hair down or keep it tied… At some point, I saw some guy coming into the club with Santa’s hat on…

Ok. I don’t think I shall recap again… Let’s just say that I will probably not go there again… Unless… I don’t even know why I would go there again. There you go… The high note was that we had decided to get something to eat at 5 am… We opted for “lablabi”, a very popular dish in Tunisia (basically, boiled chick peas with lemon and cumin which are poured on top of cubed day-old bread, with of course some harissa). It is always great to eat some, and it was a delight. It almost made me forget about the evening.

That was my Saturday night out.