Image

I've just finished re-reading "Immortalité" by Kundera. It's a book that can't be easily described. Kundera in this "novel" talks about the self, the body, the concept of immortality, etc... It's very rich and as usual, the author gets into the book and talks directly to the reader... At one point, Kundera talks about the concept of the image, of how we perceive ourselves, and especially, how others perceive us... How our image actually does matter, and how those who think it does not, are, well, insane.

My finishing of the book comes at a time where I've been having lots of discussion with friends about "image". My view is that if we always obeyed the rules of society, we would actually never go anywhere. I am not advocating chaos or anarchy, but I am saying that one should be able to do what one wants to do, provided one can deal with the consequences. I know I dress a bit weirdly sometimes, that I have bizarre looking shoes, and apparently a "hippyish" style. I was not conscious of it until I came back to Tunisia. True, I tend to favor colors and loose fitting clothes. True also, that I favor comfortable shoes over stylish ones. Very true that I have flowers and weird patterns on my clothes. But that is my style, and frankly, I like it. It might be a bit off, but really, I don't care. The style is mine, and people have gotten used to it. They've come to realize that it fits my personality, and they've come to accept it. Once in a while I get something or another, but that's ok. I know how to deal with it.

Our social image however does not stop at how we dress. It goes further. It's who you have lunch with, who you have coffee breaks with, where you go out at night, who do you have a drink with, do you have a drink (as a female) alone with colleagues, what kind of car you drive, etc. etc... The list goes on. But then again, you know the list, you know what I mean.

I was also told over a beer the other night that I did not live in a vacuum and that I had to be conscious of the choices I made. I don't know about that. I don't know either when this shift occurred for me.... meaning, I've realized that nudity does not bother me. It's just a body, it's just boobs, what's the big deal? I wondered also about the movement in France whereby overnight women decided to sunbathe topless. How did that happen? How did the rules change? What gave the first woman courage to take off her top? And what made the others follow?

I know there are limits to what one can do. At least, somewhere in my head, I figure that there should be limits, but I am not sure why. I figure, who cares what I wear? I am talking about the everyday stuff, not the professional uniform (because yes, a suit IS a uniform). Who cares about my piercings or my tattoos? I've gotten a 2nd one sometime ago, and when people ask me to show it, I do. I don't feel ashamed or uneasy about it. I know that many think it an aberration, others too big, too loud, too weird, too... whatever. It is what it is. Just like my clothes. They are what they are. My own personal style. I know that those who take the time to know me would understand it... For the rest... well...

To get back to Kundera, how insane is the person that does not care? And so what if they are?

Overflow

I've been sleeping really like crap for the past couple of weeks, and it's not just jet lag, or fatigue. I think I have a lot of different things on my mind, and I just can't seem (this time) to filter efficiently... I can't seem to empty my head... I need to force myself to focus on anything I do, meaning, if I don't concentrate, I will do or say something wrong.

As such, I've not been really inspired. A friend suggested I talk about the difficulties of deciding whether one should get married or not. Another wanted to know my thoughts on money and capitalism... Still brewing in my head... I hope to produce something soon...

Anyways, that's it for me. For now.

That damned regret

Some time ago, when I still was a student, I got an article published on the concept of regret. In it I said (more or less) that regret was reserved for those who do not think properly about the things that they want to do.

Basically, I have a rather simple way to view things.... This "concept" of life was developed with time, and it is of course, still a work in progress. I do believe that if you are in a situation and you have to decide on your course of action, your best bet is to stop and think. Think about what you are doing to do and think about the consequences.

If you are willing to live with the consequences of whatever you will be doing, if you can assume what might happen, and you do this thinking rationally and truly accept your reasoning, then, and only then, can you live with your actions without regret. Because think about it... You've thought about what you were going to do, you accepted the consequences, you should be able to live without regret.

I know it's easier said than done. But here comes the concept of responsibility. As a grown-up, if you think (and I hope you do), and accept your thinking, you should be responsible enough to assume the consequences of your actions. This is truly an exercise that one goes through constantly, a sort of mental discipline to get yourself used to this viewpoint.

One has to juggle every day with all kinds of decisions. Our lives are getting more and more complex, and the more we interact with others, the more we are faced with situations that put us in difficult situation... We can regret many things: a person we left behind, a lie we said, a moment we let pass, a missed opportunity, getting tempted, not getting tempted, time we did not spend with a loved one, a word said in anger, a word not said at the right time...

When you really think of it, the best rule in life is to just move forward... Regret will not take you anywhere. Learn from your mistakes and don't waste your time crying over last opportunities. It won't do you any good; it can only pull you further from moving on.

Anyways... I guess the most difficult part of this is the thinking process that one needs to go through before deciding... It's also very difficult to truly assume your actions... One has to find one's proper balance to live and be...

Thoughts?

It's been a long long time...

It's been a long while since I last posted something... It's been a combination of being busy at work, traveling for work, and overall not getting too pissed.

So quick update on my situation... Went to Paris twice, and am currently in good ole U.S. of A, in some tiny town in NH... A shout out to Conan and to Zizou who are both in the US. This area however is totally the suburbs with the only distractions being food and shopping. I could not find a dojo to further my aïkido lessons (and by the by... I am now a yellow belt!!!)... I am re-reading Immortalité by Kundera... I am rediscovering all kinds of foods and shops and having fun doing so.

What else what else? I've been having interesting conversations about the choices we make in life and the reason why we do things... Specifically, what would make a person choose individual A over B, or what would make a person stray... Both very interesting conversations and it's not easy to answer.

I suppose we each have our own vision of things. I wrote in an earlier post about temptation. I suppose when you really think about it, it boils down to selfishness. You choose one person over the other because you think about your needs and desires, and you totally forget about the other person... You stray because you were tempted by the flesh of another (that sounds very biblical I know), because you think of your particular craving, you want to rediscover a form of passion, or you would perhaps like to taste a forbidden fruit... Who knows...

That was the thought of the day. I've got to go back to work now... Any topics you guys might have?