Lately, I've been feeling that I had very little control over ... over everything. I just feel as if life is passing, with me just living. It means that most days are the same, and that a part of me is just behaving like my cat: eating, sleeping, and worse, I get to work. She gets to lay around all day on my bed...
I wonder why I feel this way... Is it because of a general abandon from my part and that I let things get too far and out of my control? Is it stupidity on my part and just being overlty (and naively) nice that I get control taken out of my hands? Is my behaviour wrong and in need of adjustement here? I guess I need to adjust it... It seems to me sometimes that acts of general kindness and just a certain attitude is misconstrued here. It is considered to be weakness, and hence, people's perception of you change. They will go over your head when talking to the boss, or they will deem it ok to say whatever they want and for you to take it.
What the hell is the solution? What the hell am I supposed to do? Change? Become bitchy? Smile and hand over the KY? Clealy, I feel uncomfortable with the situation, otherwise, I'd not be writing about it, I'd not feel the need to vent... I suppose I need to be more assertive, and just beware... All is not as it seems.
1 comment:
It is true that we define ourselves through others and our interactions with them.
That you are aware of yourself is already a step in the right direction. And that you have a headstart on 98% of the population.
Good luck with that.
I'll only say that sometimes, we ask ourselves too many questions.
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