La coupe du monde!!! Ce qu'on peut et ne peut pas faire...

Juste une petite blague... Faut dire que je suis d'accord et que j'ai tendance à avoir cette hatitude moi-même....

So here it goes...

Madame / Mademoiselle,

La Coupe du Monde s'approche et il est extrêmement important pour la santé de la femme, des fiancées, filles, amies, mères, soeurs, ainsi que la vie de couple, de la famille et du voisinage que les recommendations ci-apres soient bien lues et comprises. Le non-respect d'une des règles édictées ci-dessus peut avoir des consequences désastreuses et mettre votre couple en péril!

PRIERE DONC DE BIEN VOULOIR LES RESPECTER!

Liste des règles

1. du 9 juin au 9 juillet, vous devriez lire les pages sports des journaux afin d'être au courant de ce qui se passe et ainsi être en mesure de vous joindre intelligemment à une conversation. Si ce n'est pas le cas, vous serez totalement ignorée. NE PAS vous plaindre si vous ne recevez aucune marque d'attention de notre part dans ce cas de figure.

2. Pendant la Coupe du Monde, la television m'appartient (où à tout le moins celle qui dispose du plus grand écran) tout le temps sans exception. N'essayez même pas de jeter un oeil sur la télécommande vous risqueriez de le perdre (l'oeil)

3. Si vous devez passer devant la télé durant un match, cela m'importe peu, du moment que vous le faites en rampant sur le sol et sans me distraire. Si vous décidez de vous mettre nue devant la télé, assurez-vous d'avoir des vêtements à portée de main afin d'éviter un refroidissement car je n'aurai pas le temps de vous emmener chez le docteur ou de m'occuper de vous pendant le mois que durera la Coupe du Monde.

4. Pendant les matches je serai aveugle à vos gestes, sourd à vos demandes ou muet si vous désirez une conversation. Les seuls exceptions seront pour demander une bière ou quelque chose à manger. Pour le reste, n'espérez pas que je réponde au téléphone, que j'aille ouvrir la porte ou que j'aille chercher le gosse qui vient de
tomber du 2ème... Ca n'arrivera pas...

5. Ce serait une bonne idée de votre part de vous arranger pour qu'il y ait toujours une douzaine de bières au frigo ainsi que des snacks en tout genre à portée de main.Ne tirez pas la tête à mes amis qui viendraient voir un match. En échange d'un comportement responsable de votre part, vous seriez autorisées à regarder la télé de minuit à 6hr, sauf en cas de rediffusion d'un match que j'aurais raté par mégarde

6. S'il vous plait ! Si vous me voyez énervé à cause d'une des équipes que je supporte, NE PAS venir me dire "allez, ce n'est qu'un jeu" ou encore "t'inquiètes pas, ils gagneront la prochaine fois". Le seul fait de dire cela ne ferait que me mettre encore plus en colère et je vous aimerais encore moins. Souvenez-vous que vous n'en saurez jamais autant que nous sur le football et que vos "mots d'encouragements" ne feront que nous mener à une rupture ou un divorce.

7. Vous êtes la bienvenue si vous désirez vous asseoir parmi nous afin de regarder un match. Vous pouvez nous parler pendant la mi-temps, au moment du passage des pubs et uniquement si le score nous agrée. Notez que j'ai dit "un" match et qu'il n'est pas question de prendre la Coupe du Monde comme excuse afin de "passer un peu de temps ensemble"

8. La rediffusion des goals est très importante. Je me fous de savoir si je les ai déjà vus ou pas, je veux les revoir... plusieurs fois

9. Dites à vos amies de NE PAS avoir la moindre fête en rapport avec leurs gosses ou quoi que ce soit qui impliquerais ma présence car :

1° je n'irai pas
2° je n'irai pas
3° je n'irai pas


10. Par contre si un de mes amis m'invite chez lui afin de regarder un match, notez que j'y serai en un rien de temps

11. Les résumés des moments forts des matchs sont aussi importants que les matches eux-mêmes. Ne pensez même pas à dire des choses du genre "mais tu as déjà vu ça... Pourquoi on ne regarderais pas autre chose ensemble ?" la réponse serait: "merci de vous referrer à la règle n° 2 de cette liste"

12. Finalement, épargnez-nous les expressions comme "Dieu merci, ça ne se passe qu'une fois tous les 4 ans". Je suis immunisé contre cette phrase car après ceci, viendra la Champions League, Le championnat Belge,Anglais,Espagnol, Italien, etc, etc....

Merci de votre coopération

Les hommes (et certaines femmes) du monde.

My first scratch...

I've been meaning to write about this for the last couple of days, but never got around doing it

Last week, I scratched my car. My car is about 4 months old, and frankly, I'm just glad she (yes, it's a she) got a taste of reality. I had this intense fear of driving in the beginning because I found myself in this new car (my first new vehicle) that was big and costed more than I had thought I'd spend. Of course, I fell in love with my car, just like every new car-owner and I was paranoid with scratches, etc.

A part of me of course wants to preserve the car as it was the day I got it, but considering the realities of driving (especially in Tunisia) one must realize that it is only a matter of time (just look at the bumpers here) before you adjust your tolerance level for these little "bumps". We all want to hold on to the new thing as much as possible. We just want to have it perfect for as long as possible. We want it whole and complete and shiny. However, by keeping this "perfect" image of the thing, we never get over the fact that it is in fact just that : a thing. A nice engine surrounded by some metal, plastic, and a great dashboard.

So basically, I feel relieved that I scratched it. It was my own stupidity that caused the beauty to lose a small part of its paint. And I don't feel werid have felt "ehh... what the hell" when it happened. Now I suppose I can stop (or reduce) the fussing.

La grenouille

Je viens de finir la lecture de "La grenouille qui ne savait pas qu'elle était cuite et autres leçons de vie"... C'est un livre qui a beaucoup de potentiel, mais qui malheureusement n'haboutie vraiment nul part. C'est un peu un livre à la pop-psychologie qui donne des conseils pour l'amélioration de soi, l'amélioration du Ego... Olivier Clerc utilise sept allégories pour illustrer sept histoires différentes. Ces histoires sont supposées nous inspirer...

En gros, le bouquin est à lire pour ceux à la recherche d'inspiration, ou à la recherche de positivisme dans leurs vies. Le point positif que j'ai personnellement retenu est le fait que nous avons tous besoins d'être plus conscients.

Sinon, laisse tomber. Next on the list: Nostradamus Ate my Hamster de Robert Rankin

Sexual Morality

I was having a conversation with friends the other day about sexuality, and how it differs depending on perspective, depending on religious beliefs, depending on gender.

What I really cannot seem to understand or comprehend is this hyprocrisy that is world-wide about women and their sexuality. It is truly an international way of thought that renders a man screwing around a positive thing whereas a woman doing the same would be a whore. Fornication, it seems, is very gender specific. A man is lauded for having a large experience... A man is applauded when he says that he "scored" after a couple of dates, but the woman is of loose moral fiber and promiscuous.

Why is that? Is that because women are to be mothers? Are we expected to be all saintly creatures? and yet conquer you in bed? How are we supposed to be both? What is this crazy duality that is expected of us? Why is it ok for guys to f*ck around? Is all of this related to religion? And if so, why does it apply just to us? I mean... WTF?

I've often thought about this duality of things... The reasons just elude me, and I wonder why it is that things are this way. I have always thought of this just unfair. I am not encouraging screwing around. I am merely wondering why it is ok for guys and not for gals...

The right to information...?

What is your right to information in general? What are you supposed to know, and why are you supposed to know? Should you share everything or should you keep it to yourself?

Is it your right as a citizen to know? is it your right as a spouse to know? is it your right as a friend to know? is it your right as a parent or child to know?

What happens when you know or you have a strong feeling that some information is being kept from you? How are you supposed to behave?

Personally, I believe that information should be shared on a private level. Voluntarily. I am against asking questions because I believe that if you have something to tell me, as a friend, spouse, parent, you will tell me. The relationship is such as you should feel comfortable in sharing. This perspective is considered as wrong by some who think that asking is a sign of caring. Perhaps I don't ask because I don't want to be asked. I want to have the opportunity to tell you... But still, I wonder sometimes what is the best thing to do.

On a larger, citizen-wide level,... it will be another post...

The feeling that something is happening under my nose without my knowledge is a bit irritating...

So, would you ask or would you wait to be told?

Why bitching does not work...

I was thinking about the different ways we interact, and the general ease for everyone to bitch. Now, I know it's an artform in itself that is elevated by some to great heights. But I am talking not about the manipulating-bitching, I am talking about the whining-bitching... The spoiled child bitching... The I-dont-wannna bitching... You know what I'm talking about.

Well, I admit I've been doing that a little bit this past couple of days. Then I realized that I was behaving like a stupid child and snapped out of it. In fact, it was a conversation that I had with a friend that made me realize that I was in a way just... how can I say this? I was just throwing in the gloves... that I was in a way giving up or in to various things. I've been capable most of my life to see the silver lining, to pick up and just conquer whatever needs to be conquered.

The point is this: no point in bitching when you don't want to do anything about it. Either you accept the situation as it is (which is a huge No-No for me) or DO something about it. My whining about why life sucked or why I was having a hard time getting used to life here is not getting my anywhere. It will only strenghthen the fact that I feel a malaise, that I am not feelign 100% good. So really, there's no constructive point in looking at things from the wrong angle, no point in sitting and just feeling miserable.

Change always sucks and is always difficult. But I have to make the most of it. The best of it. I have to see all of the different nasty moments as a learning experience. Heck, life is an experience in itself... I have to keep in mind the thirld-worldist mentality that I keep on encountering. I have to think of some as kids despite their age.

Sooo I will stop the bitching.

So friend, thanks. I needed the wake up call.

Control

Lately, I've been feeling that I had very little control over ... over everything. I just feel as if life is passing, with me just living. It means that most days are the same, and that a part of me is just behaving like my cat: eating, sleeping, and worse, I get to work. She gets to lay around all day on my bed...

I wonder why I feel this way... Is it because of a general abandon from my part and that I let things get too far and out of my control? Is it stupidity on my part and just being overlty (and naively) nice that I get control taken out of my hands? Is my behaviour wrong and in need of adjustement here? I guess I need to adjust it... It seems to me sometimes that acts of general kindness and just a certain attitude is misconstrued here. It is considered to be weakness, and hence, people's perception of you change. They will go over your head when talking to the boss, or they will deem it ok to say whatever they want and for you to take it.

What the hell is the solution? What the hell am I supposed to do? Change? Become bitchy? Smile and hand over the KY? Clealy, I feel uncomfortable with the situation, otherwise, I'd not be writing about it, I'd not feel the need to vent... I suppose I need to be more assertive, and just beware... All is not as it seems.

How thick is your skin?

Time and time again, I've had my skin here stretched, put to a test, and just plain abused. With age and time, I realize more and more that my skin needs to be 5 cms thick and extremely rough. I need to get inspired from those big creatures like the rhinoceros or the elephant.

In here, you have to learn to be abused verbally very often on the road or on the
street. You have to learn that people will expect to be able to say whatever they want to you and you to take it "like a man" because it is that way. The worst part of it, is I can most of the time take it, but what really kills me is that the feeling is not reciprocated. Meaning. I am expected to take it, but the other on the other hand will feel abused or attacked or whatever.

The other day at the post office, some asshole cut me off at the line, and I told him so. The f*cker actually got pissed because I asked him to stand in line. I offended him! Good holy God. Same thing on the road, same thing on the street where some guy was talking to me, while I was ignoring him, and when I could not take it anymore after 10 mns and told him to please stop, he felt that I was being aggressive. What the f?

All of this is just very tiring, because I expect (foolishly it seems) for people to behave like grown-ups, to be able to behave in a way that they expect others to reciprocate, and that most of all, they develop other interests in their lives so as not to talk about others'.

Shout out...

To all my friends all around, I miss you. It sucks not being able to see you, not having you drop by to eat, not being able to get a drink with you, go release all that adrenaline with you, or just use your shoulder to laugh, cry, or empty my soul.

I feel the distance. I miss your presence.

Immoralité / Immorality

I am reading this interesting book, "La grenouille qui ne savait pas qu'elle était cuite et autres leçons de vie" and here's a quote from it:

L'immoralité d'un jour devient ainsi la morale du lendemain, dans une plongée dantesque vers les limites inférieures de l'humanitude.

Loosely translated:
Today's immorality becomes tomorrow's morality, in a Dante-esque plunge into the inferior limits of humanity.

The book is basically seven allegories regarding life and the choices we make. This particular passage refers to the fact that we are getting used to more and more immorality and that with time, we are loosing our morality thermometer (in a way) because our limits keep on changing... The stuff that was not ok 20 years ago, is today ok... and so on and so forth.

I found the sentense interesting for its literary resonance, but also because I find it to be true. It is important and good for societies to evolve and to be open-minded, but we have to nevertheless keep in mind who we are, what we were, and what we are to become if we continue down a certain path.

More on masturbation...

It is the safest sexual act... it is the most commonly know (and practiced) sexual act... Men and women practice it alike (although I wonder about the ration... perhaps guys do it more?). It is less messy for women... and very intense for both sexes.

Why do we masturbate? Because our sexual life is not enough? Because the sensation is more intense, more concentrated? Do we masturbate so we can fantasize about someone else? Do we masturbate simply because it is fun? Because we just can? All of the above? Because there'd be no one to nag us after sex and call us 18 times in 2 days? (I feel for ya Mat...)

Women, for once, have the advantage of being able to do it practically anywhere, anytime, without the need of tissue or napkin, or whatever... Heck, if you feel stressed and pissed of in the middle of the work day, or if you just feel horny, you can just go to the bathroom and take care of yourself (it's trickier for guys).

What else? I'd really like to know why you do "it" and how often... Indulge my curiosity.

Myriade de cadavres

Finished the book "Asiles de fous" which I found very interesting... To see the different perspectives concerning the events of one day, and the different narrative styles was a good exercise in realizing how we perceive things differently, and how our thoughts are sometimes blinding us to see things the way they really are...

Here's a final quote from the book:

"Notre avenir n'est pas tracé, nous nous modifions beaucoup trop, nous sommes chaotiques, et je me dis parfois qu'à notre mort nous laisserons derrière nous la myriade de cadavres de tous ces gens que nous avons été pleinement, mais l'espace d'un instant, d'une semaine, ou de quelques années."

Cette citation est assez intéréssante étant donné qu'elle parle directement de notre identité, de ce qu'on pense être (et qq part devenir)... Elle fait référence à nos différents masques, et à nos attitudes diverses. En fin de compte, nous ne sommes parfois qu'un mélange schizophrénique... You'll have to excuse the mood...

In the meantime, I've picked up another book "Archimedes' Revenge" by Paul Hoffman which seems promissing... We'll see.

On a more personal note, it seems like today is going to be a crappy day with crappy weather. I hope it passes quickly.

Trade-offs: sex, career, and the whole shebang

A slightly lighter post this time on the choices that we make in life. I was thinking about the little trade-offs we make on an every day basis, with the hope to facilitate or make easier our lives on the medium to long term. Another word for trade-off would be "settle" I guess...

You trade-off your smashing single life for married life to be with a loved one for as long as you stand one another... You trade-off having sex with whomever you want to have sex only with one person only because they know exactly what makes you tick... You trade-off living in a big city to be closer to family and to your roots... You trade-off a stable well-paying job to something new and risky... You trade-off buying a sensible car for a bigger one because this is the only time you will escape paying a crazy amount in customs...

We make these trade-offs because we make (I suppose unconsciously) calculations on what will maximize our well-being over the long term... We go with our brains because we think it more reasonable than going with our heart (feeling).

I suppose the ideal situation is to think reasonably about the choices we make in order not to have any regrets in the long term... not to ask those pesky "what if" questions... not to always go with our brains... not to always go with our hearts... not to always succumb to our libido... not to always be selfish.

Breaking up and masturbation

A post partially in french, as the book I am reading (Asiles de fous) is in french... So here are a couple of quotes that I find interesting:

This one is about a guy who sends his dad to break up with his girlfriend:
Quand on sonnait à la porte je me disais qu'il avait la clé, et qu'après tout ce que m'avait dit son père, sa mère, après tout ce que lui n'avait pas eu le courage de me dire et qu'il m'avait fait cracher au visage par les bouches de ses géniteurs, je n'allais pas me précipiter pour lui ouvrir nue sous un tablier noir comme une soubrette de bordel.

This one is about the fact that all women naturally masturbate:
Toute femme est par nature onaniste, celles qui cherchent désespérément leur plaisir auprès des mâles sont des maladroites qui ne méritent pas leurs doigts.

Compassion: what are your reasons?

A couple of days ago, I had a very intense discussion about the concept of Good and Evil... I said that I believed in basic human nature and its basic goodness, he said, without his fear of God (and punishment) he did not see why he would not kill whomever he wanted. Basically, he advanced Heliodore's comment regarding "La loi du plus fort" or "The rule of the strong".

I don't agree. But that's an entire other entry. The point of this blog is compassion, which without basic goodness cannot be. I do strongly believe that we can (and do) do things without expectation of reward (be it on Earth or in the Heavens). My belief (and perhaps I am naive) is that we behave sometimes out of pure desire to help someone in need of our help. We do volunteer work because we want to feed the homeless or remove the plastic bottles from the beach, not because we believe in God and that our "good" actions will get us in the door.

We see misery and hunger and we want to alleviate it because of a need, a basic human nature need, to nurture, to help, to offer one's hand. I do this because I can, because I want to, and at some level, because it is my duty as a human to help another one if I can (or help out an animal in distress)...

So, is the theory of compassion in a godless word possible or not? Share you thoughts and your potential cynicism... I'm all ears.

The concept of fairness (or lack thereof)

Due in great part to my upbringing and to my perspective of life, I very much value the concept of fairness, be it related to politics, gender, pay, treatment, or any other thing really. The reason is that I am a strong believer in balance and equilibrium, and I do feel that one who leads a moderate life (overall, you can't be moderate on everything... you'll stop having opinions, and stop being interesting in my eyes) will have a healthy lifestyle.

You can't eat cake everyday and keep your figure, just as you can't occupy a country of years and not expect retaliation and regular explosions. Of course, the real question is "what is fairness?". Defining such a term is very difficult, and shall bring forth lots of discussion, but let's give it a shot. Fairness implies impartiality, and lack of prejudice or favoritism. It means that you will not think of your own interest, and that you will do your best to be objective and do things the way they need to be.

So why am I writing about fairness? Because I have been noticing less and less of it every day. Egocentrism and self-importance are taking over, and most people think that they are the wheel on which everything is turning. Not only is it at the individual level, but also at group levels. There are many many examples of the groups : a particular religious group that will be prejudiced and try to eliminate another group due to ignorance (Inquisition anyone?), or a government that will force its rule on another (colonisation in all its forms)...

Perhaps if we, at the individual level, make an effort, albeit minimal, we might try to make a dent somewhere that will have its repercussions.

This is not utopia.
This is not paradise.
This is a possibility that requires of us to make a sacrifice.
This is a reality to requires us to speak up when we notice such unfairness.
This is a duty that we all have to ameliorate our selves.

Because in the end, that is all that we have.

The art of covering one's ass...

You live you learn... what does not kill you makes you stronger... etc, etc... All the BS that you've heard a million times. Those are some of the clichés I've been telling myself in the past couple of days, because it seems that I need to rationalize and understand the situation.

It seems that good faith will get you no where and at the first chance anyone (pretty much really) gets, they will fuck you over. Why do I say that? Because nobody wants to assume the responsibility of what they are doing or supposed to be doing... because, as I was told yesterday, "après moi le déluge" and "Akhta rassi we adhreb" which means "the floods after me" and "spare my head and hit"... which is really an attitude that I find deplorable and sad and just pitiful.

It got me thiking about all the creatures that do not think and that do the same task over and over again, without question, without worry, without thought, and how they seemingly seemed content with this type of life. If they only knew the possibilities out there... the knowledge to be discovered, the things to see, the foods to eat, the art to be appreciated, etc...

But then again, to each his own... spare my head and dwell in your "world"...

Robert Plant rocks

A couple of you guys asked me about the Robert Plant ticket… I did write about it twice (link) but never followed up on what happened… I never did find that ticket! And still can’t for that matter. Thankfully, a friend’s friend got sick and had to sell her ticket… So one person’s misery makes another’s happiness. I forked over more cash, but hey, it is not every day that one sees Robert Plant. And let’s face it, I am not taking any chances in Tunisia… Decent concerts are only every other (who knows how long)…

The entire event was fantastic. Had I known I could take pictures, I’d have brought my camera. In the states, it’s absolutely forbidden… I should have known that it was possible here though… In any case, I got there around 8pm or so, and caught a metal French band, Adagio. They are very heavy metal, so you could see a lot of teens banging their heads with the music and screaming the lyrics. It was frankly heart warming. I am a sucker for concerts and to see so many people completely involved is close to being enchanting.

Robert Plant came out around 10pm or so, and the man ROCKS. He’s truly fantastic. There’s no doubt when listening to him, how this man reached the status he has. The great thing is that he did not disappoint the spectators… This means that he played lots of Led Zeppelin songs. He did not do “Stairway to Heaven” or “Kashmir” (post Led Zeppelin but with Jimmy Page), but played Black Dog, Misty Mountain Hop (from IV), Whole Lotta Love (II), and many more. I was so very intoxicated that I don’t really remember all of the LZ songs he played.

Since he started up a new group himself, he (of course and one should hope so) played a couple of the songs. The Led Zeppelin songs he performed were slightly different in their sound; he added a touch of his flavor, with a heavy dose of North African tone. I suppose that he’s still under the influence.

The thing lasted over an hour and a half, and made my week… I hope he comes back and takes us to the stairway to heaven…

In need of some light...

So the week-end was mostly relaxing, said good-bye to a cousin whoÂ’s trying his luck and migratingÂ… Comforted my aunt who could not believe her only child was taking such a huge leap of faith, chilled, watched some TV, and a couple of moviesÂ…

In the meantime, as some of my readers know, went through my regular existential, once-every- 8-weeks, crisis. Wondering what itÂ’s all aboutWonderingring about what is important and what is not, the point of it all, the true meaning of faith, the beauty in wonderment, why are we the way we are, is there possibility to change, am I on the right path and when will I know if I am wrong, can I be a sheep disguised as a wolf or must I turn into one to make it, the beauty of body language, the theory of relativity, and how much it must suck to be an ant.

I need to delve more into reading to empty my head. I donÂ’t know if itÂ’s reading some Socrates right now that is filling my head with questions, or whatÂ… Or that time of the year, questioning everythingÂ…

In the meantime, have started reading “Asiles de fous” which seems pretty good. I hope it will bring some enlightenment...

Friendship

The ever resourceful Conan sent me a link of a little video that highlights the friendship between a kitten and a rooster. They play together (more like the cat plays and the rooster does not do anything) and they sleep together (not shag, just sleep). What is interesting is that the cat actually seeks the rooster. It makes the effort to hang out with the poultry.

It got me thinking about human friendships, and how they are sometimes difficult. Is it because we are inherently selfish and only think of what this relation will bring us? Is it because we think too much about strategy and how we should evolve within this relationship? Is it perhaps that we are just too sensitive as creatures? Is it a trust thing? What is it exactly that complicates our interactions?

Can't we just hang out, eat, and just chill? Do we really have to think that some have ulterior motives? Why can't we just be like the cat and the rooster? Is our consciousness (in a way) killing us to the point that we are unable to just be? Is that why only children have decent friendships? And past age 10 or 11, it all just goes to hell?

Am I being too cynical here or am I justified in thinking that humans unnecessarily complicate their existence?