As I write this post, I am brushing my hair, and feeling the pimple that has just decided to form on my forehead. I just took a shower to try to relax, but I just can't seem to calm down... Tomorrow is the first day of my new job. I guess this is going to be my 3rd first new day in a serious environments. There were many others, but I think that those 3 were the toughest... anyways. My skin is showing signs of stress, and I am totally unable to sleep. All I can think about is my first day at my first "real" job...
I guess this was over six years ago. I remember that I had spent the evening before, a good couple of hours deciding on the outfit I was going to wear. I was going to work for a serious place, that employed thousands of people throughout the world, with many office buildings, and a lot of different people. I needed to make the right impression. I needed to put all there is to put on my side because I had started with a 3-month contract... Finally the outfit was picked. Finally I was able to get some rest.
The following morning, my stomach was rumbling. Alas, it was not hunger. It was good old stress that was taking a nasty turn and taking revenge on my poor stomach (it is always the victim of my uncounscioussness). I could barely drink something before leaving the apartment. On my way to the elevator, I had to rush back home and ... well... vomit. I grabbed some ginger ale, and headed back, even more stressed now by the fact that I might be getting late.
Half-way through the metro ride, I had to exit the metro, throw up in a trash, and get back on. My stomach was empty, but it was just rebelling. I finally made it to work, pale, shivering, and tense. I was fortunate enough to have a lovely older colleague who could understand the stress I was going through... That day went ok, my stomach took some time to settle, but it eventually did.
That job lasted me close to five years... I know beginnings are always difficult. Any "first" is hard, but such is life... I am sure that tomorrow will be great and that all this stupid stress will be remembered as an obligatory stupid thing.
Most of all, I hope that this job is "it" and that I will be able to actually have a career. All the signs seem to indicate that it will be possible. I shall do my best, work like a mule, and get to where I want.
13 November 2006
30 October 2006
Competition
I am always amazed when during a game, or a sport, or whatever that involves a score to see how people behave. I have started for some time now observing people, and unconsciously studying them. I am not really quite sure why this happened but it is so and I am actually having fun doing it. Anyways.
There are different kinds of people: those who will do the strict minimum and don't really care about the outcome of their performance, those whose only purpose is to win, to be first, to be the best, those who try and just give up, those who are doing whatever they are doing for the fun of it, etc. etc... Many different ways of being for many different people.
The group that I find particularly interesting to observe is the super competitive one. This is the type of person that will take the activity to its utmost importance. A game of taboo or bowling becomes a decisive moment in his life, THE way to shine, and its life purpose. Okay so that might have been a tad exaggerated, but really, some people are like that. These people will take everything to the next level, will do their best to be the best, and of course to beat you, to squash you, to annihilate you. They will be pissed at themselves, will analyze the mistake that they just made, and try to correct it on their next move. They will also come to you for advice when they see how you suck. They will correct your stance, your move, and give you more information than you will ever need.
It's an interesting way of being. No doubt that most people in this category succeed wherever they put their mind. No doubt also will they be whatever they want to be. But really, that is not a category for me... It's not interesting to be that way because I think that you miss on the big picture. If you focus and put all your energy on just winning, you forget that you are actually there to be with friends, to have fun, to socialize... Of course, you should do your best, all the time, but really, what would anyone remember in 3 months? The person who won or the atmosphere and the ambiance of that night? Of course, this is "valid" for everyday life and events, not for school, or "real" competition...
Think about, in the game that is life, if you only focus on the details and forget about the big picture, what will you remember when you are old and wrinkled? Your score or the fun you had getting there?
There are different kinds of people: those who will do the strict minimum and don't really care about the outcome of their performance, those whose only purpose is to win, to be first, to be the best, those who try and just give up, those who are doing whatever they are doing for the fun of it, etc. etc... Many different ways of being for many different people.
The group that I find particularly interesting to observe is the super competitive one. This is the type of person that will take the activity to its utmost importance. A game of taboo or bowling becomes a decisive moment in his life, THE way to shine, and its life purpose. Okay so that might have been a tad exaggerated, but really, some people are like that. These people will take everything to the next level, will do their best to be the best, and of course to beat you, to squash you, to annihilate you. They will be pissed at themselves, will analyze the mistake that they just made, and try to correct it on their next move. They will also come to you for advice when they see how you suck. They will correct your stance, your move, and give you more information than you will ever need.
It's an interesting way of being. No doubt that most people in this category succeed wherever they put their mind. No doubt also will they be whatever they want to be. But really, that is not a category for me... It's not interesting to be that way because I think that you miss on the big picture. If you focus and put all your energy on just winning, you forget that you are actually there to be with friends, to have fun, to socialize... Of course, you should do your best, all the time, but really, what would anyone remember in 3 months? The person who won or the atmosphere and the ambiance of that night? Of course, this is "valid" for everyday life and events, not for school, or "real" competition...
Think about, in the game that is life, if you only focus on the details and forget about the big picture, what will you remember when you are old and wrinkled? Your score or the fun you had getting there?
12 October 2006
Some lessons learned...
I turned 30 not so long ago, and one of my friends asked me about the 3 past decades of my life: lessons learned, thoughts, etc... I think (given my nature) that I need to think about it more... After all, I am starting a new decade in my life, and there's no point making the same mistakes... Here are however a couple of things I discovered/learned:
- people say and do different things
- a good cure to insomnia is sex
- roses only last an average of 5 days
- often putting your foot down is the best thing you can do
- all parents are the same, no matter the culture
- a car is just a car, some are very nice, but in the end, it takes you from one place to the other
- finally knowing the direction you need to take in life is a great feeling
- doing manual things relaxes me the most
- reading is essential
- dry skin seems to be forever
- deep down I long for a more rural life
- cats fart
- being a readhead all your childhood and teenage years does not guarantee that you will keep the same shade of redheadedness once you are an adult (sigh)
- you can never have enough underwear
- The power of boobs is universal
- It's not a good idea to mix drinks
- I fear cockroaches (to a ridiculous point)
- Not all babies are cute
- One of the best motos in life is "fuck it"
More to come later...
- people say and do different things
- a good cure to insomnia is sex
- roses only last an average of 5 days
- often putting your foot down is the best thing you can do
- all parents are the same, no matter the culture
- a car is just a car, some are very nice, but in the end, it takes you from one place to the other
- finally knowing the direction you need to take in life is a great feeling
- doing manual things relaxes me the most
- reading is essential
- dry skin seems to be forever
- deep down I long for a more rural life
- cats fart
- being a readhead all your childhood and teenage years does not guarantee that you will keep the same shade of redheadedness once you are an adult (sigh)
- you can never have enough underwear
- The power of boobs is universal
- It's not a good idea to mix drinks
- I fear cockroaches (to a ridiculous point)
- Not all babies are cute
- One of the best motos in life is "fuck it"
More to come later...
11 October 2006
Bayn el Widyen... An attempt to review the movie.
Bayn el Widyen is the title of one of the latest Tunisian movies, currently screening at Al Hambra. According to the friend I went with (since my arabic is so-so), it means, "between 2 rivers".
The movie starts with a tense scene in a family room with people awaiting an event... It is then followed by a couple standing at the municipality, in front of the civil servant about to marry them. The bride is nervous, and is glancing at the door, when suddenly... suddenly she sees a man leaning on the door. She then proceeds to throw her ring on the desk, grab the leaning dude, and run out (while loosing her shoe, and tearing her pearl necklace on the steps of the municipality building). The bride snatches up the keys of the car that she would have ridden in (had she went ahead with the marriage), and proceeds to drive. The couple decides to go to North-West of the country.
The entire movie is about the couple fledding from one town to another, lovely air shots of Tunisia, and being followed by the bitter stood-up groom. There scenes are entertwinned with older scenes of the new couple as children (they are cousins, yuck) and then as young adults... They sort of explain how the dude needed to get out of the country (he "needed" to flee)...
Ok, so if I had to rate this movie, I would give it a D. The movie has no head, no tails. There is never any mention of the bride's family (I guess they did not worry about her), no proper explanation of the relationships between the bride, the groom, and the dude. The script was very weak (I was able to guess many scenes and many lines)... I did laugh though at the cheesiness of it all. There is a scene were the new happy couple (fully clothed) dives into the sea, and the bride is not wearing a bra :) There were scenes involving drinking, smoking, and even smoking weed... There was also a scene with a helicopter AND a train. I can't think of anything more to make the movie even cheesier... Do let me know what else they could have added.
I had lots of fun watching the movie, so did my friend, and we proceeded to talk more about it over a heated-up chocolate Danone that the thieves at Phukets served as "hot chocolate"...
The movie starts with a tense scene in a family room with people awaiting an event... It is then followed by a couple standing at the municipality, in front of the civil servant about to marry them. The bride is nervous, and is glancing at the door, when suddenly... suddenly she sees a man leaning on the door. She then proceeds to throw her ring on the desk, grab the leaning dude, and run out (while loosing her shoe, and tearing her pearl necklace on the steps of the municipality building). The bride snatches up the keys of the car that she would have ridden in (had she went ahead with the marriage), and proceeds to drive. The couple decides to go to North-West of the country.
The entire movie is about the couple fledding from one town to another, lovely air shots of Tunisia, and being followed by the bitter stood-up groom. There scenes are entertwinned with older scenes of the new couple as children (they are cousins, yuck) and then as young adults... They sort of explain how the dude needed to get out of the country (he "needed" to flee)...
Ok, so if I had to rate this movie, I would give it a D. The movie has no head, no tails. There is never any mention of the bride's family (I guess they did not worry about her), no proper explanation of the relationships between the bride, the groom, and the dude. The script was very weak (I was able to guess many scenes and many lines)... I did laugh though at the cheesiness of it all. There is a scene were the new happy couple (fully clothed) dives into the sea, and the bride is not wearing a bra :) There were scenes involving drinking, smoking, and even smoking weed... There was also a scene with a helicopter AND a train. I can't think of anything more to make the movie even cheesier... Do let me know what else they could have added.
I had lots of fun watching the movie, so did my friend, and we proceeded to talk more about it over a heated-up chocolate Danone that the thieves at Phukets served as "hot chocolate"...
07 October 2006
Book talk
I realized the other day that I had the gift of free time and especially, mental tranquility. My mind is at peace (besides the occasional panic attack about getting a job): I sleep well, I actually have interesting dreams, and overall, I do feel good.
I have used this free time to read, on average, a book every 3 days, alternating between English and French. I have thankfully quite a lot to choose from, so I don't even need to leave my place to replenish my stock (but at this rate, I might have to visit a bookstore soon). The 2 latest books I've read are "Nice Work" by David Lodge, and "Le hamac rouge" by Jean-Luc Payen. I have now started "Adam's curse" by Bryan Sykes. I tried reading something more serious, but I can't seem to concentrate. My book on "A History of God" by Karen Armstron and "Le livre de la méditation" by Al Ghazali are still at page 20 or so. I miss watching movies (since TPS is gone again) and since I've pretty much exhasuted whatever my local DVD rental dude has.
I am also taking advantage of the various cultural events that are currently ongoing in Tunis (isn't it bad that they are ALL taking place in one month? Couldn't they just spread them throughout the year a little more?) and enjoying different types of music and started of with an event at Dar Husseïn, with a Russian troupe Premiera, directed by Igor Dronov... I hope I will get to see other interesting things in the days to come.
I have used this free time to read, on average, a book every 3 days, alternating between English and French. I have thankfully quite a lot to choose from, so I don't even need to leave my place to replenish my stock (but at this rate, I might have to visit a bookstore soon). The 2 latest books I've read are "Nice Work" by David Lodge, and "Le hamac rouge" by Jean-Luc Payen. I have now started "Adam's curse" by Bryan Sykes. I tried reading something more serious, but I can't seem to concentrate. My book on "A History of God" by Karen Armstron and "Le livre de la méditation" by Al Ghazali are still at page 20 or so. I miss watching movies (since TPS is gone again) and since I've pretty much exhasuted whatever my local DVD rental dude has.
I am also taking advantage of the various cultural events that are currently ongoing in Tunis (isn't it bad that they are ALL taking place in one month? Couldn't they just spread them throughout the year a little more?) and enjoying different types of music and started of with an event at Dar Husseïn, with a Russian troupe Premiera, directed by Igor Dronov... I hope I will get to see other interesting things in the days to come.
03 October 2006
Different times for different roles
Whether we like it or not, we play different roles in life, depending on the person(s) we are talking to, or the situation we are in (one does not behave the same way in an interview as one does chilling with one's buddies). You are either lying to yourself or not realizing it if you disagree.
Sometimes however we forget that we are supposed to play a particular role, and we let ourselves go, and it's just sometimes too bad. It's too bad because we all have some level of expectations of our friends, family, and colleagues, and when they forget or choose not to play their role, someone, at some point will get a bit hurt.
It's not so much that they are "hurt" per se, but more disappointed... Disappointed because of the above mentionned expectations, and it's really a sucky feeling. That is why I am a big proponent of no expectations, but once in a while, that barrier or thought or mental rule is forgotten... It sort of happened in the past couple of days to me, and the entire situation just left me a bit sad....
Sometimes however we forget that we are supposed to play a particular role, and we let ourselves go, and it's just sometimes too bad. It's too bad because we all have some level of expectations of our friends, family, and colleagues, and when they forget or choose not to play their role, someone, at some point will get a bit hurt.
It's not so much that they are "hurt" per se, but more disappointed... Disappointed because of the above mentionned expectations, and it's really a sucky feeling. That is why I am a big proponent of no expectations, but once in a while, that barrier or thought or mental rule is forgotten... It sort of happened in the past couple of days to me, and the entire situation just left me a bit sad....
22 September 2006
'seeing deeply into the nature of things'
is encouraged in the art of zen, says wikipedia.
Frankly, I don't know if that's always such a good idea. If I see deeply into the nature of some people I am afraid I will be ill most of the time.
Ok so I am exagerating a little bit, but just a little... The more I dive into people's nature sometimes the more I am sickened with what I see or discover.
I have, for one reason or another, some anger, and I have to keep it under control or channel in in a more constructive beneficial way. Perhaps seeing deeply into my own nature might enabled me to comprehend my state of mind... I suppose I should meditate a little... It can only help.
Frankly, I don't know if that's always such a good idea. If I see deeply into the nature of some people I am afraid I will be ill most of the time.
Ok so I am exagerating a little bit, but just a little... The more I dive into people's nature sometimes the more I am sickened with what I see or discover.
I have, for one reason or another, some anger, and I have to keep it under control or channel in in a more constructive beneficial way. Perhaps seeing deeply into my own nature might enabled me to comprehend my state of mind... I suppose I should meditate a little... It can only help.
19 September 2006
Quick updates
Much has happened since I last wrote.
I am no longer employed so I am free as a bird!!! Quite happy and quite relaxed and cooking like I have not done so in the longest time. Trying out new recipes and chillin' like a vilain.
I am in a good, no great mood, no longer sleepless, and taking it easy. I am, of course, looking for employment, so if you know of a company looking for a project manager, do let me know :)
I am on the look-out for all kinds of new things and really, as I've said, I don't have much going on. The only things that are still pissing me off are the crazy ass drivers here, and yesterday, I was in a situation that made me open the window, scream at this stupid mofo 3 different kinds of obscenities.
I don't know if that made me feel better, but I had not been angry like that for quite some time, and I do hate being and getting angry. I screamed and yelled at the guy, and when I got home, I could not believe that I actually behaved in such a primary fashion.
Also today, I became an auntie, so that's cool :) It's almost actually scary to see the kid in his mum's tummy for so long and have him be right next to you the day after...
I am expecting other interesting news, hopefully not much venting as I have much less to vent about...
To Aimless: I'd love to get a cup of coffee with you! Do contact me ;)
I am no longer employed so I am free as a bird!!! Quite happy and quite relaxed and cooking like I have not done so in the longest time. Trying out new recipes and chillin' like a vilain.
I am in a good, no great mood, no longer sleepless, and taking it easy. I am, of course, looking for employment, so if you know of a company looking for a project manager, do let me know :)
I am on the look-out for all kinds of new things and really, as I've said, I don't have much going on. The only things that are still pissing me off are the crazy ass drivers here, and yesterday, I was in a situation that made me open the window, scream at this stupid mofo 3 different kinds of obscenities.
I don't know if that made me feel better, but I had not been angry like that for quite some time, and I do hate being and getting angry. I screamed and yelled at the guy, and when I got home, I could not believe that I actually behaved in such a primary fashion.
Also today, I became an auntie, so that's cool :) It's almost actually scary to see the kid in his mum's tummy for so long and have him be right next to you the day after...
I am expecting other interesting news, hopefully not much venting as I have much less to vent about...
To Aimless: I'd love to get a cup of coffee with you! Do contact me ;)
22 August 2006
It continues...
Insomnia, that is... I am reaching a level where I think I will drop while walking... Not even time to nap as I decided like I wrote the other day to cook more. The only way I will cook is when people come over, otherwise I will have a yogurt or eat cheese or something... I rarely cook for myself. So I have been feeding many people lately and experimenting with recipes.
Those who know me know that one of my weaknesses is talking about food... If I find another foodie, I just can't stop myself. So here it goes (especially for running42k), something that I concocted yesterday:
Heat some oil with some sesame seeds
Sauté 2 diced onions
Once the onions are cooked through and translucent, layer thinly cut meat (half of the palm of your hand, with thickness 1 to 2 cm)
Sprinkle the meat with sugar (yes sugar, trust me - really ;))
Turn over the meat once the meat changes color
Sprinkle with soy sauce
Cook for a couple of minutes
In the meantime, blanche some green beans (either fresh or frozen) for a couple of minutes (this means cooking them in boiling water for a minute than putting them in ice cold water - to stop the cooking)
Dump the beans on the meat.
Sprinkle with more soy sauce
Add about 1 Tbs of mince garlic, cook a couple more minutes
Before serving, sprinkle more soy sauce and some sesame seeds.
Serve with jasmine or basmati rice...
Ok, now I am hungry.
Those who know me know that one of my weaknesses is talking about food... If I find another foodie, I just can't stop myself. So here it goes (especially for running42k), something that I concocted yesterday:
Heat some oil with some sesame seeds
Sauté 2 diced onions
Once the onions are cooked through and translucent, layer thinly cut meat (half of the palm of your hand, with thickness 1 to 2 cm)
Sprinkle the meat with sugar (yes sugar, trust me - really ;))
Turn over the meat once the meat changes color
Sprinkle with soy sauce
Cook for a couple of minutes
In the meantime, blanche some green beans (either fresh or frozen) for a couple of minutes (this means cooking them in boiling water for a minute than putting them in ice cold water - to stop the cooking)
Dump the beans on the meat.
Sprinkle with more soy sauce
Add about 1 Tbs of mince garlic, cook a couple more minutes
Before serving, sprinkle more soy sauce and some sesame seeds.
Serve with jasmine or basmati rice...
Ok, now I am hungry.
18 August 2006
Le sleepy... Le tired...
This past couple of days, I've been sleeping an average of 3 to 4 hours per night... I am a little tired... and I think I'll end up falling on my desk one of these days if I don't make up for this lost sleep... Lots of weddings and celebrations, and they are never-ending. I am very happy for all of those celebrating, but it would be really nice if they could arrange for things to be friday or saturday night.
The worst part of it is that I when I do get home, I can't seem to sleep quickly because I am so tired, so I read a bit, which does help. Currently I am reading "A History of the Devil", a very interesting book.
I've decided to get back to cooking a little more, I've not been doing a lot of it lately because I don't have time, and I really really miss it. Cooking and baking always make me happy, and the creative side in me comes out. So there. I'll start hunting for more recipes to try, like yesterday, even if I was dead tired and in dire need of napping, I baked my first ever fresh fig cake. It actually turned out pretty good..
All for now, struggling to be functional.
The worst part of it is that I when I do get home, I can't seem to sleep quickly because I am so tired, so I read a bit, which does help. Currently I am reading "A History of the Devil", a very interesting book.
I've decided to get back to cooking a little more, I've not been doing a lot of it lately because I don't have time, and I really really miss it. Cooking and baking always make me happy, and the creative side in me comes out. So there. I'll start hunting for more recipes to try, like yesterday, even if I was dead tired and in dire need of napping, I baked my first ever fresh fig cake. It actually turned out pretty good..
All for now, struggling to be functional.
15 August 2006
Back to work, back to reality...
So I thought that I would take a couple of days off to take a break from work and from having to wake up early in the morning... Wrooooong. I had not realized all the errands that I needed to run and all the little things in life that I had not been doing because I did not have (and still don't) the time to do... So basically I had a couple of days to jump in my car, drive around, drop and pick up people and stuff, doctors to see, dry cleaning, and all the BS that we have to do to maintain a decent appearance.
One occurence (well... many actually, but let's just be optimistic and nice this one time) drove me nuts. The banking system in this country is... retarded. There is really no other way of saying it. My money is at a branch that is close to where I live, so I go there on my way to work in the morning when I need to talk to my banker... Occasionally however, I have a hard time waking up (ok so most days I need to be dragged out of bed), so I don't always have time to go in the AM. There is another branch, of said bank, close to where I work. I dropped by the other day and asked to withdraw money by writing a check to myself.
She said ok, but when she saw that I was affiliated with another branch, she said she could not give me the money. I asked why and she replied that she did not know me. WTF? I then replied, you can see my balance, can't you? Of course she responds, but I don't know your habits. As bricktop (Snatch) said eloquently : In the words of the virgin Mary, come again? I did not know if I should have been angry, sad, both, or just pissed off... How can you not give me money when the balance shows right there on your screen? How exactly does the guy in the bank know me when all he sees is the monthly deposit of my salary and my different withdrawals? Which SHE CAN SEE!!!! argh.
So basically I was angry AND pissed off... Took my check book because I was so disgusted, and left. But wait, the adventure contiues... I made the detour in the middle of my errands, went to my bank. I did get my money, although nobody asked anything and the guy at the front desk barely did any checking... I then ask to see the "banker" to see why I've not gotten my login and password for my online banking. Aaah... He's not here, as he's replacing some other sucker in some other branch while on vacation. So what can I do I ask... You have to wait until he comes back.
I am so very tired of all this bullshit... It seems as if all the stupid little branches are each a mini bank of their own, which is so very primitive. Imagine you go to vacation, 600 km away and need to withdraw more than your daily or weekly allowance. What the hell are you supposed to do? Fly back to your branch?
Anyways... Deep breaths... Venting over. Back to work now.
One occurence (well... many actually, but let's just be optimistic and nice this one time) drove me nuts. The banking system in this country is... retarded. There is really no other way of saying it. My money is at a branch that is close to where I live, so I go there on my way to work in the morning when I need to talk to my banker... Occasionally however, I have a hard time waking up (ok so most days I need to be dragged out of bed), so I don't always have time to go in the AM. There is another branch, of said bank, close to where I work. I dropped by the other day and asked to withdraw money by writing a check to myself.
She said ok, but when she saw that I was affiliated with another branch, she said she could not give me the money. I asked why and she replied that she did not know me. WTF? I then replied, you can see my balance, can't you? Of course she responds, but I don't know your habits. As bricktop (Snatch) said eloquently : In the words of the virgin Mary, come again? I did not know if I should have been angry, sad, both, or just pissed off... How can you not give me money when the balance shows right there on your screen? How exactly does the guy in the bank know me when all he sees is the monthly deposit of my salary and my different withdrawals? Which SHE CAN SEE!!!! argh.
So basically I was angry AND pissed off... Took my check book because I was so disgusted, and left. But wait, the adventure contiues... I made the detour in the middle of my errands, went to my bank. I did get my money, although nobody asked anything and the guy at the front desk barely did any checking... I then ask to see the "banker" to see why I've not gotten my login and password for my online banking. Aaah... He's not here, as he's replacing some other sucker in some other branch while on vacation. So what can I do I ask... You have to wait until he comes back.
I am so very tired of all this bullshit... It seems as if all the stupid little branches are each a mini bank of their own, which is so very primitive. Imagine you go to vacation, 600 km away and need to withdraw more than your daily or weekly allowance. What the hell are you supposed to do? Fly back to your branch?
Anyways... Deep breaths... Venting over. Back to work now.
07 August 2006
What I've been up to...
I had the fantastic opportunity the other day to meet a couple of TN bloggers and am very psyched as I met some great people... Frankly I've not been up to much lately as I could not break the routine of home-work-home... I always wish I could go more to the beach (as I said before, I long to be a beach bum), so perhaps I should start looking for a job that will give me lots more time ;) Somehow the thought of teaching and having 3 months off (and paid) is getting more and more appealing, but that is a long way from where I am now, and we'll see about that...
I just finished reading Codex by Lev Grossman, ahd have started reading The Brethren by John Grisham (my first ever book of his). I've been flaking off on my guitar lessons, and I have GOT to get back to playing...
That's pretty much it for now for me. I am awaiting new and interesting developments in my life soon, so I will keep you guys updated :)
I just finished reading Codex by Lev Grossman, ahd have started reading The Brethren by John Grisham (my first ever book of his). I've been flaking off on my guitar lessons, and I have GOT to get back to playing...
That's pretty much it for now for me. I am awaiting new and interesting developments in my life soon, so I will keep you guys updated :)
26 July 2006
Crashing and not burning
Thanks to all of you guys for your nice words. The accident was much more felt by my nerves than by my car, which is now in process of being repared. So I did crash in front of someone in front of me not to be crashed into by someone next to me. Spent the past couple of days dealing with insurance and the person that I crashed into.
I am finally taking a couple of days off, and going I hope to the beach to swim, take photos, and chill. Toutou will not be coming, and I hope she won't attack the plants around the house to throw up after (in memory of Zipir).
I don't know anymore if I am being true to myself, or somehow due to sick circumstances and the way things are here, that I have to change a bit into someone a bit meaner. It's a matter really of not getting scewed over or taking it all in. I am still struggling with the choice.
Hope all of you guys are well.
I am finally taking a couple of days off, and going I hope to the beach to swim, take photos, and chill. Toutou will not be coming, and I hope she won't attack the plants around the house to throw up after (in memory of Zipir).
I don't know anymore if I am being true to myself, or somehow due to sick circumstances and the way things are here, that I have to change a bit into someone a bit meaner. It's a matter really of not getting scewed over or taking it all in. I am still struggling with the choice.
Hope all of you guys are well.
24 July 2006
As the driver..
I've made new rules, and I will do my best to keep them. It is very clear that sometimes, parting ways is the only way, and the best way... So I am not forcing myself anymore into situations where I clearly am unhappy. That's pretty much the way it's going to be... It's not really "my way or the highway" but really "I've given it way too many chances, things are not working, I think I'm just gonna call it quits".
This will most definitely be applicable to all sides of my life, and again, with all these big decisions that I make/take once in a while, I have this enormous sense of relief. So that is that.
On a more sunny note, I finally will take a couple of days off this week. On a less sunny note, I got into a car accident today. What else? Lots of ups and downs these days, and I'm not sure anymore what direction to take.
People seriously need to get a grip here. It's unbelievable how childich they can be and how "sensitive" they are... or rather, they think they are taking the high road and doing their part in whatever, when in fact, all they want is to be able to say whatever the hell they want, for you to take it, and never ever say the same thing to them, because that would be "mean" to them.
The thing is, no matter how hard I try to keep my cool, I just always end up getting pissed. I don't know if I feel better really, but I get pissed, and in this country, one needs a lot of detachment (work, family) or ... or I don't know. Or you are pissed many times throughout the day like I am. The saying in Tunisia is "tirma berda" or "cold ass" (ass as in rear-end, not donkey)... So one needs to be a cool cold ass to make it... Still very much trying to do so.
Sigh...
This will most definitely be applicable to all sides of my life, and again, with all these big decisions that I make/take once in a while, I have this enormous sense of relief. So that is that.
On a more sunny note, I finally will take a couple of days off this week. On a less sunny note, I got into a car accident today. What else? Lots of ups and downs these days, and I'm not sure anymore what direction to take.
People seriously need to get a grip here. It's unbelievable how childich they can be and how "sensitive" they are... or rather, they think they are taking the high road and doing their part in whatever, when in fact, all they want is to be able to say whatever the hell they want, for you to take it, and never ever say the same thing to them, because that would be "mean" to them.
The thing is, no matter how hard I try to keep my cool, I just always end up getting pissed. I don't know if I feel better really, but I get pissed, and in this country, one needs a lot of detachment (work, family) or ... or I don't know. Or you are pissed many times throughout the day like I am. The saying in Tunisia is "tirma berda" or "cold ass" (ass as in rear-end, not donkey)... So one needs to be a cool cold ass to make it... Still very much trying to do so.
Sigh...
10 July 2006
In eleven months...
I moved with my cat from DC to Tunis
I changed my status
I got a job
I learned to drive stick-shift
I bought a car
I scratched my car
I visited 3 countries
I learned to play the guitar
I got sick several times
I thought about moving back to DC several times
I had many fights with many people because they tried to cut me off in lines
I missed my parents a lot (and still do)
I lost and regained my strength many times
I had many migraine headaches
I doubted myself often
I started a real-estate savings account
I enjoyed good food at my grandma's and aunts houses
I decided to be the driver, not the passenger
I changed my status
I got a job
I learned to drive stick-shift
I bought a car
I scratched my car
I visited 3 countries
I learned to play the guitar
I got sick several times
I thought about moving back to DC several times
I had many fights with many people because they tried to cut me off in lines
I missed my parents a lot (and still do)
I lost and regained my strength many times
I had many migraine headaches
I doubted myself often
I started a real-estate savings account
I enjoyed good food at my grandma's and aunts houses
I decided to be the driver, not the passenger
07 July 2006
As i woke up this morning...
... i found myself thinking about the VW ad : In the road to(of) life, there are passengers, and there are drivers. I am not quite sure why I was thinking about, maybe because I've been talking a lot lately about cars and driving... Perhaps it also has to do with the fact that there is more thinking going on on being active or passive in life...
I wonder why we decide to choose the seat that we do : challenge or confort?
I wonder why we decide to choose the seat that we do : challenge or confort?
03 July 2006
Ups and downs...
are due to who knows what... Although I have a strong feeling that I need a vacation that would enable me to put fresher ideas in my head, and forget a little bit about town, work, traffic, and third-world mentality. Days are passing with any added value, so to say, and I am just paddling to stay afloat.
Just very tired I guess... Too much heat, no appetite, and nothing exciting going on.
Just very tired I guess... Too much heat, no appetite, and nothing exciting going on.
26 June 2006
Strength
I am right now in a situation where I must pull all of my strength together... Where I must muster up whatever energy left in me to go on, but I just feel so tired that I am very much thinking about giving up. I am sooo tired, so drained, so exhausted, that I have this feeling that I am about to just cry like I've never cried before. It's not really in my nature to do it, but I feel the flow welling up, and I don't know how much longer I can resist.
19 June 2006
Back to the issue of trust...
The questions are: why do i trust? do i need to trust? can i trust? who do i trust? who can i trust? and especially, what is trust? and many, many more...
I won't discuss all of these questions (left out there for you to wonder, and for me to better define my vision), but i shall talk about trust in general.
I think it's difficult to trust because there is the inherent fear that we will be mocked and betrayed. The fear that what we share with one person (or organization) will get used against me. The fear that if you open up yourself just a little bit, if you provide a facet of yourself that you've kept secret, that the person you put your trust in, will ridicule you.
It could be stupid stuff, like sharing a fantasy, or a childhood secret you've kept to yourself, a dream, or a particular ideology. Saying it makes it out there and basically makes you "naked". Because also, in the words of Democritus, "Do not trust all men, but trust men of worth; the former course is silly, the latter a mark of prudence."
Of course, how do you define worth, and can you still find it?
I won't discuss all of these questions (left out there for you to wonder, and for me to better define my vision), but i shall talk about trust in general.
I think it's difficult to trust because there is the inherent fear that we will be mocked and betrayed. The fear that what we share with one person (or organization) will get used against me. The fear that if you open up yourself just a little bit, if you provide a facet of yourself that you've kept secret, that the person you put your trust in, will ridicule you.
It could be stupid stuff, like sharing a fantasy, or a childhood secret you've kept to yourself, a dream, or a particular ideology. Saying it makes it out there and basically makes you "naked". Because also, in the words of Democritus, "Do not trust all men, but trust men of worth; the former course is silly, the latter a mark of prudence."
Of course, how do you define worth, and can you still find it?
Hot and sweaty...
I was having a bit of insomnia the other night and I was watching, for once, television. There was a show that I started watching because they were talking about a book, Passions animales, and sex is always more interesting than some shooting spree in some dumbass movie.
So the guy was talking about his book and of course the different mating rituatls of animals, and the different techniques that male had to ensure that either the female will "retain" his sperm or that he'd be the only male to mate with her (hence of course ensuring that the pups are his). Some creature (I forgot what) apparently leaves his penis inside the female to close her up. A bit gross and poor little guy. One shot and he's out. The author (Frédéric Lewino) finally talked about the human animal and how basically what stopped us from doing a lot of things, was basically our created Taboos.
We have taboos to "regulate" our sexual lives and apetites and to somewhat keep us in line with monogamy and life as most of us knows it. Of course taboos differ from one culture to the other. I remember in my anthropology class some tribe in Asia where the woman marries the guy and his brothers, basically to take care of them. I forgot how the sex works out, but the woman could always get some, and I am sure that she could always find one who's not tired. The kids issue is resolved in a way because they are all brothers and so, sort of all theirs.
I've talked before about sexual morality, and the hypocritical mating rules that we have. I wonder how things will be in the future and one day the concept of "swinging" would become an accepted concept in our society. Perhaps a bit difficult, perhaps in 2 or 3 generations.
Don't take me wrong, I am not advocating open fornication. I am just saying, males or females should be allowed to do whatever they want without any judgement based on gender.
And to think that bees and ants have a queen that rules them all... I wonder what we human females need to do to gain such power...
So the guy was talking about his book and of course the different mating rituatls of animals, and the different techniques that male had to ensure that either the female will "retain" his sperm or that he'd be the only male to mate with her (hence of course ensuring that the pups are his). Some creature (I forgot what) apparently leaves his penis inside the female to close her up. A bit gross and poor little guy. One shot and he's out. The author (Frédéric Lewino) finally talked about the human animal and how basically what stopped us from doing a lot of things, was basically our created Taboos.
We have taboos to "regulate" our sexual lives and apetites and to somewhat keep us in line with monogamy and life as most of us knows it. Of course taboos differ from one culture to the other. I remember in my anthropology class some tribe in Asia where the woman marries the guy and his brothers, basically to take care of them. I forgot how the sex works out, but the woman could always get some, and I am sure that she could always find one who's not tired. The kids issue is resolved in a way because they are all brothers and so, sort of all theirs.
I've talked before about sexual morality, and the hypocritical mating rules that we have. I wonder how things will be in the future and one day the concept of "swinging" would become an accepted concept in our society. Perhaps a bit difficult, perhaps in 2 or 3 generations.
Don't take me wrong, I am not advocating open fornication. I am just saying, males or females should be allowed to do whatever they want without any judgement based on gender.
And to think that bees and ants have a queen that rules them all... I wonder what we human females need to do to gain such power...
16 June 2006
But wwwwhhhhhyyyyy???
I've gotten back to reading more about Socrates (his life, his teaching) and I find this man to be interesting. I've to say that I very much like his way and that questionning everything all the time is a healthy attitude in life.
I know that I would go nuts if I could not question as much as I do right now. I am often told that I ask too many questions and that I wondered too much. I don't see how anyone could live without questioning everything or without that sense of wonder that we have as kids. Why do we lose it? Why do we stop asking questions about the stars, radio waves, and wind directions? Do we really know all that stuff, think we know it, or just stop caring? Take all for granted?
Anyways... I was just wondering :) Considering, that uhum, one of my guitar strings broke, so I have more time to wonder until I fix it.
On a more personal note : the cat is still sneezing and seems to enjoy my playing the guitar. She just sits and stairs and occasionally jumps on the dangling extra string... Thinking of expanding my horizons and taking sculpture classes. Recommendations anyone?
I know that I would go nuts if I could not question as much as I do right now. I am often told that I ask too many questions and that I wondered too much. I don't see how anyone could live without questioning everything or without that sense of wonder that we have as kids. Why do we lose it? Why do we stop asking questions about the stars, radio waves, and wind directions? Do we really know all that stuff, think we know it, or just stop caring? Take all for granted?
Anyways... I was just wondering :) Considering, that uhum, one of my guitar strings broke, so I have more time to wonder until I fix it.
On a more personal note : the cat is still sneezing and seems to enjoy my playing the guitar. She just sits and stairs and occasionally jumps on the dangling extra string... Thinking of expanding my horizons and taking sculpture classes. Recommendations anyone?
15 June 2006
Back with a vengeance : Thin rope
I've very much missed writing, so I'm working out a system that should enable me to have a post every day or so... Considering that my insomnia is at an all time high and that my hours of sleep are shrinking, I have more time to think about everything and nothing and wonder about my life... Which is why I shall start by talking about the choices we make in life.
Everyday, we all make and take decisions that can alter our lives... Somewhat like the famous butterfly and the tsunami it created... Sometimes the rope is very tight and it is in fact easy to decide, at other times, it is loose and no matter what you will do, you will fall and hurt yourself.
Growing up, my dad used to tell me that in life, there are no maybes. You can only agree or disagree on something. It's not always very easy growing up, but I find it to be a good thing. It is good because you are forced to have decide. If you are unsure, it means you don't know. That's basically how I think now. Of course, often, talk is cheap, and in practicality, it's not very easy.
There are also those decisions you make that you know you will regret at one point in your life if you don't really think about their consequences. The frequent fight between the rational and the emotional often leads to troubles. Your head tells you not to do X behaviour but your heart is just too hurt and needs to do X. And we end up in situations where you do something that you are unsure of and in situations that are tricky.
It's stupid. It's human nature. It's life. The trick is managing those situations as much as possible and minizing the "hurt" consequences as much as possible.
I'm not quite sure why I am writing about this but I've been thinking about it. Perhaps just thinking about my choices in life -- working very hard, and if so, to what end, my eating habits, my physical activities, etc...- because I'm taking a closer look at where I am heading... Probably 'cause I'm turning 30 in a couple of months :)
Everyday, we all make and take decisions that can alter our lives... Somewhat like the famous butterfly and the tsunami it created... Sometimes the rope is very tight and it is in fact easy to decide, at other times, it is loose and no matter what you will do, you will fall and hurt yourself.
Growing up, my dad used to tell me that in life, there are no maybes. You can only agree or disagree on something. It's not always very easy growing up, but I find it to be a good thing. It is good because you are forced to have decide. If you are unsure, it means you don't know. That's basically how I think now. Of course, often, talk is cheap, and in practicality, it's not very easy.
There are also those decisions you make that you know you will regret at one point in your life if you don't really think about their consequences. The frequent fight between the rational and the emotional often leads to troubles. Your head tells you not to do X behaviour but your heart is just too hurt and needs to do X. And we end up in situations where you do something that you are unsure of and in situations that are tricky.
It's stupid. It's human nature. It's life. The trick is managing those situations as much as possible and minizing the "hurt" consequences as much as possible.
I'm not quite sure why I am writing about this but I've been thinking about it. Perhaps just thinking about my choices in life -- working very hard, and if so, to what end, my eating habits, my physical activities, etc...- because I'm taking a closer look at where I am heading... Probably 'cause I'm turning 30 in a couple of months :)
09 June 2006
Guitar, migraines, and trust...
It's now or never... This is the only time I will find today to write, as I am taking advantage of "waiting" for the upload to finish...
I LOVE playing the guitar. It's totally cool and it's just superb to start playing and decomposing a song, note by note. My first lesson went well, and I suppose I just have to get used to holding the guitar and positioning my hands. Left is ok, but right is tricky... I've been practicing every day a little bit, and I am totally psyched.
I've been having ups and downs with headaches and migraines. I was hoping that those days were behind me, but I guess I am a little more tired these days and it's starting to affect me. I hope it will pass because I hate taking pills....
I've been thinking these past days about trust, and how much I actually find it hard to open up to someone. I always have this feeling/fear that I will get screwed over, that if I say something or behave in a particular way, it will come back and haunt me.... Anyways, I will have to write more on this because this is a behavior that I've had for quite some time and I wonder in fact about it... So more intropsection sessions are needed to come up with a more suitable answer. But to get back to it (as I just had a thought now), I think I cannot totally confide in one person only. It's more like different aspects of me are shared with different people. So it's like (in a way) not putting all of my eggs in one basket. Perhaps that's what I am doing...
Ok. The upload is over, so back to work!
I LOVE playing the guitar. It's totally cool and it's just superb to start playing and decomposing a song, note by note. My first lesson went well, and I suppose I just have to get used to holding the guitar and positioning my hands. Left is ok, but right is tricky... I've been practicing every day a little bit, and I am totally psyched.
I've been having ups and downs with headaches and migraines. I was hoping that those days were behind me, but I guess I am a little more tired these days and it's starting to affect me. I hope it will pass because I hate taking pills....
I've been thinking these past days about trust, and how much I actually find it hard to open up to someone. I always have this feeling/fear that I will get screwed over, that if I say something or behave in a particular way, it will come back and haunt me.... Anyways, I will have to write more on this because this is a behavior that I've had for quite some time and I wonder in fact about it... So more intropsection sessions are needed to come up with a more suitable answer. But to get back to it (as I just had a thought now), I think I cannot totally confide in one person only. It's more like different aspects of me are shared with different people. So it's like (in a way) not putting all of my eggs in one basket. Perhaps that's what I am doing...
Ok. The upload is over, so back to work!
02 June 2006
Random thoughts...
I've not had much time to write lately because work's been taking that time... Consequently, I've not had enough brain power to think anything but thoughts on clients, projects, HTML, tricky PSD, and the wonderful world of CSS.
I've managed to finish my book (Nostradamus ate my hamster by Robert Rankin) and start another one (The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett). I realize I have somewhat of a taste for weird titles, and both of these have rodents in them... Just pure coincidence.
The only other fun thing for me is that starting monday I will start taking electric guitar lessons!!! I am very psyched about it and I hope I won't suck too much. But whatever my natural talent is, I am set on not giving this up, and being able to play 1 decent song by Led Zeppelin, and 1 by Pink Floyd. I am tempted to add a Metallica in the list, but I think 2 is enough to start with...
What else, what else? Having a sneezing coughing cat can be entertaining... Holding a cat down so it can get an X-Ray is something I will remember...
Back to work and I hope deeper thoughts in the days to come...
I've managed to finish my book (Nostradamus ate my hamster by Robert Rankin) and start another one (The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett). I realize I have somewhat of a taste for weird titles, and both of these have rodents in them... Just pure coincidence.
The only other fun thing for me is that starting monday I will start taking electric guitar lessons!!! I am very psyched about it and I hope I won't suck too much. But whatever my natural talent is, I am set on not giving this up, and being able to play 1 decent song by Led Zeppelin, and 1 by Pink Floyd. I am tempted to add a Metallica in the list, but I think 2 is enough to start with...
What else, what else? Having a sneezing coughing cat can be entertaining... Holding a cat down so it can get an X-Ray is something I will remember...
Back to work and I hope deeper thoughts in the days to come...
24 May 2006
La coupe du monde!!! Ce qu'on peut et ne peut pas faire...
Juste une petite blague... Faut dire que je suis d'accord et que j'ai tendance à avoir cette hatitude moi-même....
So here it goes...
Madame / Mademoiselle,
La Coupe du Monde s'approche et il est extrêmement important pour la santé de la femme, des fiancées, filles, amies, mères, soeurs, ainsi que la vie de couple, de la famille et du voisinage que les recommendations ci-apres soient bien lues et comprises. Le non-respect d'une des règles édictées ci-dessus peut avoir des consequences désastreuses et mettre votre couple en péril!
PRIERE DONC DE BIEN VOULOIR LES RESPECTER!
Liste des règles
1. du 9 juin au 9 juillet, vous devriez lire les pages sports des journaux afin d'être au courant de ce qui se passe et ainsi être en mesure de vous joindre intelligemment à une conversation. Si ce n'est pas le cas, vous serez totalement ignorée. NE PAS vous plaindre si vous ne recevez aucune marque d'attention de notre part dans ce cas de figure.
2. Pendant la Coupe du Monde, la television m'appartient (où à tout le moins celle qui dispose du plus grand écran) tout le temps sans exception. N'essayez même pas de jeter un oeil sur la télécommande vous risqueriez de le perdre (l'oeil)
3. Si vous devez passer devant la télé durant un match, cela m'importe peu, du moment que vous le faites en rampant sur le sol et sans me distraire. Si vous décidez de vous mettre nue devant la télé, assurez-vous d'avoir des vêtements à portée de main afin d'éviter un refroidissement car je n'aurai pas le temps de vous emmener chez le docteur ou de m'occuper de vous pendant le mois que durera la Coupe du Monde.
4. Pendant les matches je serai aveugle à vos gestes, sourd à vos demandes ou muet si vous désirez une conversation. Les seuls exceptions seront pour demander une bière ou quelque chose à manger. Pour le reste, n'espérez pas que je réponde au téléphone, que j'aille ouvrir la porte ou que j'aille chercher le gosse qui vient de
tomber du 2ème... Ca n'arrivera pas...
5. Ce serait une bonne idée de votre part de vous arranger pour qu'il y ait toujours une douzaine de bières au frigo ainsi que des snacks en tout genre à portée de main.Ne tirez pas la tête à mes amis qui viendraient voir un match. En échange d'un comportement responsable de votre part, vous seriez autorisées à regarder la télé de minuit à 6hr, sauf en cas de rediffusion d'un match que j'aurais raté par mégarde
6. S'il vous plait ! Si vous me voyez énervé à cause d'une des équipes que je supporte, NE PAS venir me dire "allez, ce n'est qu'un jeu" ou encore "t'inquiètes pas, ils gagneront la prochaine fois". Le seul fait de dire cela ne ferait que me mettre encore plus en colère et je vous aimerais encore moins. Souvenez-vous que vous n'en saurez jamais autant que nous sur le football et que vos "mots d'encouragements" ne feront que nous mener à une rupture ou un divorce.
7. Vous êtes la bienvenue si vous désirez vous asseoir parmi nous afin de regarder un match. Vous pouvez nous parler pendant la mi-temps, au moment du passage des pubs et uniquement si le score nous agrée. Notez que j'ai dit "un" match et qu'il n'est pas question de prendre la Coupe du Monde comme excuse afin de "passer un peu de temps ensemble"
8. La rediffusion des goals est très importante. Je me fous de savoir si je les ai déjà vus ou pas, je veux les revoir... plusieurs fois
9. Dites à vos amies de NE PAS avoir la moindre fête en rapport avec leurs gosses ou quoi que ce soit qui impliquerais ma présence car :
1° je n'irai pas
2° je n'irai pas
3° je n'irai pas
10. Par contre si un de mes amis m'invite chez lui afin de regarder un match, notez que j'y serai en un rien de temps
11. Les résumés des moments forts des matchs sont aussi importants que les matches eux-mêmes. Ne pensez même pas à dire des choses du genre "mais tu as déjà vu ça... Pourquoi on ne regarderais pas autre chose ensemble ?" la réponse serait: "merci de vous referrer à la règle n° 2 de cette liste"
12. Finalement, épargnez-nous les expressions comme "Dieu merci, ça ne se passe qu'une fois tous les 4 ans". Je suis immunisé contre cette phrase car après ceci, viendra la Champions League, Le championnat Belge,Anglais,Espagnol, Italien, etc, etc....
Merci de votre coopération
Les hommes (et certaines femmes) du monde.
So here it goes...
Madame / Mademoiselle,
La Coupe du Monde s'approche et il est extrêmement important pour la santé de la femme, des fiancées, filles, amies, mères, soeurs, ainsi que la vie de couple, de la famille et du voisinage que les recommendations ci-apres soient bien lues et comprises. Le non-respect d'une des règles édictées ci-dessus peut avoir des consequences désastreuses et mettre votre couple en péril!
PRIERE DONC DE BIEN VOULOIR LES RESPECTER!
Liste des règles
1. du 9 juin au 9 juillet, vous devriez lire les pages sports des journaux afin d'être au courant de ce qui se passe et ainsi être en mesure de vous joindre intelligemment à une conversation. Si ce n'est pas le cas, vous serez totalement ignorée. NE PAS vous plaindre si vous ne recevez aucune marque d'attention de notre part dans ce cas de figure.
2. Pendant la Coupe du Monde, la television m'appartient (où à tout le moins celle qui dispose du plus grand écran) tout le temps sans exception. N'essayez même pas de jeter un oeil sur la télécommande vous risqueriez de le perdre (l'oeil)
3. Si vous devez passer devant la télé durant un match, cela m'importe peu, du moment que vous le faites en rampant sur le sol et sans me distraire. Si vous décidez de vous mettre nue devant la télé, assurez-vous d'avoir des vêtements à portée de main afin d'éviter un refroidissement car je n'aurai pas le temps de vous emmener chez le docteur ou de m'occuper de vous pendant le mois que durera la Coupe du Monde.
4. Pendant les matches je serai aveugle à vos gestes, sourd à vos demandes ou muet si vous désirez une conversation. Les seuls exceptions seront pour demander une bière ou quelque chose à manger. Pour le reste, n'espérez pas que je réponde au téléphone, que j'aille ouvrir la porte ou que j'aille chercher le gosse qui vient de
tomber du 2ème... Ca n'arrivera pas...
5. Ce serait une bonne idée de votre part de vous arranger pour qu'il y ait toujours une douzaine de bières au frigo ainsi que des snacks en tout genre à portée de main.Ne tirez pas la tête à mes amis qui viendraient voir un match. En échange d'un comportement responsable de votre part, vous seriez autorisées à regarder la télé de minuit à 6hr, sauf en cas de rediffusion d'un match que j'aurais raté par mégarde
6. S'il vous plait ! Si vous me voyez énervé à cause d'une des équipes que je supporte, NE PAS venir me dire "allez, ce n'est qu'un jeu" ou encore "t'inquiètes pas, ils gagneront la prochaine fois". Le seul fait de dire cela ne ferait que me mettre encore plus en colère et je vous aimerais encore moins. Souvenez-vous que vous n'en saurez jamais autant que nous sur le football et que vos "mots d'encouragements" ne feront que nous mener à une rupture ou un divorce.
7. Vous êtes la bienvenue si vous désirez vous asseoir parmi nous afin de regarder un match. Vous pouvez nous parler pendant la mi-temps, au moment du passage des pubs et uniquement si le score nous agrée. Notez que j'ai dit "un" match et qu'il n'est pas question de prendre la Coupe du Monde comme excuse afin de "passer un peu de temps ensemble"
8. La rediffusion des goals est très importante. Je me fous de savoir si je les ai déjà vus ou pas, je veux les revoir... plusieurs fois
9. Dites à vos amies de NE PAS avoir la moindre fête en rapport avec leurs gosses ou quoi que ce soit qui impliquerais ma présence car :
1° je n'irai pas
2° je n'irai pas
3° je n'irai pas
10. Par contre si un de mes amis m'invite chez lui afin de regarder un match, notez que j'y serai en un rien de temps
11. Les résumés des moments forts des matchs sont aussi importants que les matches eux-mêmes. Ne pensez même pas à dire des choses du genre "mais tu as déjà vu ça... Pourquoi on ne regarderais pas autre chose ensemble ?" la réponse serait: "merci de vous referrer à la règle n° 2 de cette liste"
12. Finalement, épargnez-nous les expressions comme "Dieu merci, ça ne se passe qu'une fois tous les 4 ans". Je suis immunisé contre cette phrase car après ceci, viendra la Champions League, Le championnat Belge,Anglais,Espagnol, Italien, etc, etc....
Merci de votre coopération
Les hommes (et certaines femmes) du monde.
My first scratch...
I've been meaning to write about this for the last couple of days, but never got around doing it
Last week, I scratched my car. My car is about 4 months old, and frankly, I'm just glad she (yes, it's a she) got a taste of reality. I had this intense fear of driving in the beginning because I found myself in this new car (my first new vehicle) that was big and costed more than I had thought I'd spend. Of course, I fell in love with my car, just like every new car-owner and I was paranoid with scratches, etc.
A part of me of course wants to preserve the car as it was the day I got it, but considering the realities of driving (especially in Tunisia) one must realize that it is only a matter of time (just look at the bumpers here) before you adjust your tolerance level for these little "bumps". We all want to hold on to the new thing as much as possible. We just want to have it perfect for as long as possible. We want it whole and complete and shiny. However, by keeping this "perfect" image of the thing, we never get over the fact that it is in fact just that : a thing. A nice engine surrounded by some metal, plastic, and a great dashboard.
So basically, I feel relieved that I scratched it. It was my own stupidity that caused the beauty to lose a small part of its paint. And I don't feel werid have felt "ehh... what the hell" when it happened. Now I suppose I can stop (or reduce) the fussing.
Last week, I scratched my car. My car is about 4 months old, and frankly, I'm just glad she (yes, it's a she) got a taste of reality. I had this intense fear of driving in the beginning because I found myself in this new car (my first new vehicle) that was big and costed more than I had thought I'd spend. Of course, I fell in love with my car, just like every new car-owner and I was paranoid with scratches, etc.
A part of me of course wants to preserve the car as it was the day I got it, but considering the realities of driving (especially in Tunisia) one must realize that it is only a matter of time (just look at the bumpers here) before you adjust your tolerance level for these little "bumps". We all want to hold on to the new thing as much as possible. We just want to have it perfect for as long as possible. We want it whole and complete and shiny. However, by keeping this "perfect" image of the thing, we never get over the fact that it is in fact just that : a thing. A nice engine surrounded by some metal, plastic, and a great dashboard.
So basically, I feel relieved that I scratched it. It was my own stupidity that caused the beauty to lose a small part of its paint. And I don't feel werid have felt "ehh... what the hell" when it happened. Now I suppose I can stop (or reduce) the fussing.
23 May 2006
La grenouille
Je viens de finir la lecture de "La grenouille qui ne savait pas qu'elle était cuite et autres leçons de vie"... C'est un livre qui a beaucoup de potentiel, mais qui malheureusement n'haboutie vraiment nul part. C'est un peu un livre à la pop-psychologie qui donne des conseils pour l'amélioration de soi, l'amélioration du Ego... Olivier Clerc utilise sept allégories pour illustrer sept histoires différentes. Ces histoires sont supposées nous inspirer...
En gros, le bouquin est à lire pour ceux à la recherche d'inspiration, ou à la recherche de positivisme dans leurs vies. Le point positif que j'ai personnellement retenu est le fait que nous avons tous besoins d'être plus conscients.
Sinon, laisse tomber. Next on the list: Nostradamus Ate my Hamster de Robert Rankin
En gros, le bouquin est à lire pour ceux à la recherche d'inspiration, ou à la recherche de positivisme dans leurs vies. Le point positif que j'ai personnellement retenu est le fait que nous avons tous besoins d'être plus conscients.
Sinon, laisse tomber. Next on the list: Nostradamus Ate my Hamster de Robert Rankin
22 May 2006
Sexual Morality
I was having a conversation with friends the other day about sexuality, and how it differs depending on perspective, depending on religious beliefs, depending on gender.
What I really cannot seem to understand or comprehend is this hyprocrisy that is world-wide about women and their sexuality. It is truly an international way of thought that renders a man screwing around a positive thing whereas a woman doing the same would be a whore. Fornication, it seems, is very gender specific. A man is lauded for having a large experience... A man is applauded when he says that he "scored" after a couple of dates, but the woman is of loose moral fiber and promiscuous.
Why is that? Is that because women are to be mothers? Are we expected to be all saintly creatures? and yet conquer you in bed? How are we supposed to be both? What is this crazy duality that is expected of us? Why is it ok for guys to f*ck around? Is all of this related to religion? And if so, why does it apply just to us? I mean... WTF?
I've often thought about this duality of things... The reasons just elude me, and I wonder why it is that things are this way. I have always thought of this just unfair. I am not encouraging screwing around. I am merely wondering why it is ok for guys and not for gals...
What I really cannot seem to understand or comprehend is this hyprocrisy that is world-wide about women and their sexuality. It is truly an international way of thought that renders a man screwing around a positive thing whereas a woman doing the same would be a whore. Fornication, it seems, is very gender specific. A man is lauded for having a large experience... A man is applauded when he says that he "scored" after a couple of dates, but the woman is of loose moral fiber and promiscuous.
Why is that? Is that because women are to be mothers? Are we expected to be all saintly creatures? and yet conquer you in bed? How are we supposed to be both? What is this crazy duality that is expected of us? Why is it ok for guys to f*ck around? Is all of this related to religion? And if so, why does it apply just to us? I mean... WTF?
I've often thought about this duality of things... The reasons just elude me, and I wonder why it is that things are this way. I have always thought of this just unfair. I am not encouraging screwing around. I am merely wondering why it is ok for guys and not for gals...
19 May 2006
The right to information...?
What is your right to information in general? What are you supposed to know, and why are you supposed to know? Should you share everything or should you keep it to yourself?
Is it your right as a citizen to know? is it your right as a spouse to know? is it your right as a friend to know? is it your right as a parent or child to know?
What happens when you know or you have a strong feeling that some information is being kept from you? How are you supposed to behave?
Personally, I believe that information should be shared on a private level. Voluntarily. I am against asking questions because I believe that if you have something to tell me, as a friend, spouse, parent, you will tell me. The relationship is such as you should feel comfortable in sharing. This perspective is considered as wrong by some who think that asking is a sign of caring. Perhaps I don't ask because I don't want to be asked. I want to have the opportunity to tell you... But still, I wonder sometimes what is the best thing to do.
On a larger, citizen-wide level,... it will be another post...
The feeling that something is happening under my nose without my knowledge is a bit irritating...
So, would you ask or would you wait to be told?
Is it your right as a citizen to know? is it your right as a spouse to know? is it your right as a friend to know? is it your right as a parent or child to know?
What happens when you know or you have a strong feeling that some information is being kept from you? How are you supposed to behave?
Personally, I believe that information should be shared on a private level. Voluntarily. I am against asking questions because I believe that if you have something to tell me, as a friend, spouse, parent, you will tell me. The relationship is such as you should feel comfortable in sharing. This perspective is considered as wrong by some who think that asking is a sign of caring. Perhaps I don't ask because I don't want to be asked. I want to have the opportunity to tell you... But still, I wonder sometimes what is the best thing to do.
On a larger, citizen-wide level,... it will be another post...
The feeling that something is happening under my nose without my knowledge is a bit irritating...
So, would you ask or would you wait to be told?
17 May 2006
Why bitching does not work...
I was thinking about the different ways we interact, and the general ease for everyone to bitch. Now, I know it's an artform in itself that is elevated by some to great heights. But I am talking not about the manipulating-bitching, I am talking about the whining-bitching... The spoiled child bitching... The I-dont-wannna bitching... You know what I'm talking about.
Well, I admit I've been doing that a little bit this past couple of days. Then I realized that I was behaving like a stupid child and snapped out of it. In fact, it was a conversation that I had with a friend that made me realize that I was in a way just... how can I say this? I was just throwing in the gloves... that I was in a way giving up or in to various things. I've been capable most of my life to see the silver lining, to pick up and just conquer whatever needs to be conquered.
The point is this: no point in bitching when you don't want to do anything about it. Either you accept the situation as it is (which is a huge No-No for me) or DO something about it. My whining about why life sucked or why I was having a hard time getting used to life here is not getting my anywhere. It will only strenghthen the fact that I feel a malaise, that I am not feelign 100% good. So really, there's no constructive point in looking at things from the wrong angle, no point in sitting and just feeling miserable.
Change always sucks and is always difficult. But I have to make the most of it. The best of it. I have to see all of the different nasty moments as a learning experience. Heck, life is an experience in itself... I have to keep in mind the thirld-worldist mentality that I keep on encountering. I have to think of some as kids despite their age.
Sooo I will stop the bitching.
So friend, thanks. I needed the wake up call.
Well, I admit I've been doing that a little bit this past couple of days. Then I realized that I was behaving like a stupid child and snapped out of it. In fact, it was a conversation that I had with a friend that made me realize that I was in a way just... how can I say this? I was just throwing in the gloves... that I was in a way giving up or in to various things. I've been capable most of my life to see the silver lining, to pick up and just conquer whatever needs to be conquered.
The point is this: no point in bitching when you don't want to do anything about it. Either you accept the situation as it is (which is a huge No-No for me) or DO something about it. My whining about why life sucked or why I was having a hard time getting used to life here is not getting my anywhere. It will only strenghthen the fact that I feel a malaise, that I am not feelign 100% good. So really, there's no constructive point in looking at things from the wrong angle, no point in sitting and just feeling miserable.
Change always sucks and is always difficult. But I have to make the most of it. The best of it. I have to see all of the different nasty moments as a learning experience. Heck, life is an experience in itself... I have to keep in mind the thirld-worldist mentality that I keep on encountering. I have to think of some as kids despite their age.
Sooo I will stop the bitching.
So friend, thanks. I needed the wake up call.
16 May 2006
Control
Lately, I've been feeling that I had very little control over ... over everything. I just feel as if life is passing, with me just living. It means that most days are the same, and that a part of me is just behaving like my cat: eating, sleeping, and worse, I get to work. She gets to lay around all day on my bed...
I wonder why I feel this way... Is it because of a general abandon from my part and that I let things get too far and out of my control? Is it stupidity on my part and just being overlty (and naively) nice that I get control taken out of my hands? Is my behaviour wrong and in need of adjustement here? I guess I need to adjust it... It seems to me sometimes that acts of general kindness and just a certain attitude is misconstrued here. It is considered to be weakness, and hence, people's perception of you change. They will go over your head when talking to the boss, or they will deem it ok to say whatever they want and for you to take it.
What the hell is the solution? What the hell am I supposed to do? Change? Become bitchy? Smile and hand over the KY? Clealy, I feel uncomfortable with the situation, otherwise, I'd not be writing about it, I'd not feel the need to vent... I suppose I need to be more assertive, and just beware... All is not as it seems.
I wonder why I feel this way... Is it because of a general abandon from my part and that I let things get too far and out of my control? Is it stupidity on my part and just being overlty (and naively) nice that I get control taken out of my hands? Is my behaviour wrong and in need of adjustement here? I guess I need to adjust it... It seems to me sometimes that acts of general kindness and just a certain attitude is misconstrued here. It is considered to be weakness, and hence, people's perception of you change. They will go over your head when talking to the boss, or they will deem it ok to say whatever they want and for you to take it.
What the hell is the solution? What the hell am I supposed to do? Change? Become bitchy? Smile and hand over the KY? Clealy, I feel uncomfortable with the situation, otherwise, I'd not be writing about it, I'd not feel the need to vent... I suppose I need to be more assertive, and just beware... All is not as it seems.
15 May 2006
How thick is your skin?
Time and time again, I've had my skin here stretched, put to a test, and just plain abused. With age and time, I realize more and more that my skin needs to be 5 cms thick and extremely rough. I need to get inspired from those big creatures like the rhinoceros or the elephant.
In here, you have to learn to be abused verbally very often on the road or on the
street. You have to learn that people will expect to be able to say whatever they want to you and you to take it "like a man" because it is that way. The worst part of it, is I can most of the time take it, but what really kills me is that the feeling is not reciprocated. Meaning. I am expected to take it, but the other on the other hand will feel abused or attacked or whatever.
The other day at the post office, some asshole cut me off at the line, and I told him so. The f*cker actually got pissed because I asked him to stand in line. I offended him! Good holy God. Same thing on the road, same thing on the street where some guy was talking to me, while I was ignoring him, and when I could not take it anymore after 10 mns and told him to please stop, he felt that I was being aggressive. What the f?
All of this is just very tiring, because I expect (foolishly it seems) for people to behave like grown-ups, to be able to behave in a way that they expect others to reciprocate, and that most of all, they develop other interests in their lives so as not to talk about others'.
In here, you have to learn to be abused verbally very often on the road or on the
street. You have to learn that people will expect to be able to say whatever they want to you and you to take it "like a man" because it is that way. The worst part of it, is I can most of the time take it, but what really kills me is that the feeling is not reciprocated. Meaning. I am expected to take it, but the other on the other hand will feel abused or attacked or whatever.
The other day at the post office, some asshole cut me off at the line, and I told him so. The f*cker actually got pissed because I asked him to stand in line. I offended him! Good holy God. Same thing on the road, same thing on the street where some guy was talking to me, while I was ignoring him, and when I could not take it anymore after 10 mns and told him to please stop, he felt that I was being aggressive. What the f?
All of this is just very tiring, because I expect (foolishly it seems) for people to behave like grown-ups, to be able to behave in a way that they expect others to reciprocate, and that most of all, they develop other interests in their lives so as not to talk about others'.
11 May 2006
Shout out...
To all my friends all around, I miss you. It sucks not being able to see you, not having you drop by to eat, not being able to get a drink with you, go release all that adrenaline with you, or just use your shoulder to laugh, cry, or empty my soul.
I feel the distance. I miss your presence.
I feel the distance. I miss your presence.
Immoralité / Immorality
I am reading this interesting book, "La grenouille qui ne savait pas qu'elle était cuite et autres leçons de vie" and here's a quote from it:
L'immoralité d'un jour devient ainsi la morale du lendemain, dans une plongée dantesque vers les limites inférieures de l'humanitude.
Loosely translated:
Today's immorality becomes tomorrow's morality, in a Dante-esque plunge into the inferior limits of humanity.
The book is basically seven allegories regarding life and the choices we make. This particular passage refers to the fact that we are getting used to more and more immorality and that with time, we are loosing our morality thermometer (in a way) because our limits keep on changing... The stuff that was not ok 20 years ago, is today ok... and so on and so forth.
I found the sentense interesting for its literary resonance, but also because I find it to be true. It is important and good for societies to evolve and to be open-minded, but we have to nevertheless keep in mind who we are, what we were, and what we are to become if we continue down a certain path.
L'immoralité d'un jour devient ainsi la morale du lendemain, dans une plongée dantesque vers les limites inférieures de l'humanitude.
Loosely translated:
Today's immorality becomes tomorrow's morality, in a Dante-esque plunge into the inferior limits of humanity.
The book is basically seven allegories regarding life and the choices we make. This particular passage refers to the fact that we are getting used to more and more immorality and that with time, we are loosing our morality thermometer (in a way) because our limits keep on changing... The stuff that was not ok 20 years ago, is today ok... and so on and so forth.
I found the sentense interesting for its literary resonance, but also because I find it to be true. It is important and good for societies to evolve and to be open-minded, but we have to nevertheless keep in mind who we are, what we were, and what we are to become if we continue down a certain path.
08 May 2006
More on masturbation...
It is the safest sexual act... it is the most commonly know (and practiced) sexual act... Men and women practice it alike (although I wonder about the ration... perhaps guys do it more?). It is less messy for women... and very intense for both sexes.
Why do we masturbate? Because our sexual life is not enough? Because the sensation is more intense, more concentrated? Do we masturbate so we can fantasize about someone else? Do we masturbate simply because it is fun? Because we just can? All of the above? Because there'd be no one to nag us after sex and call us 18 times in 2 days? (I feel for ya Mat...)
Women, for once, have the advantage of being able to do it practically anywhere, anytime, without the need of tissue or napkin, or whatever... Heck, if you feel stressed and pissed of in the middle of the work day, or if you just feel horny, you can just go to the bathroom and take care of yourself (it's trickier for guys).
What else? I'd really like to know why you do "it" and how often... Indulge my curiosity.
Why do we masturbate? Because our sexual life is not enough? Because the sensation is more intense, more concentrated? Do we masturbate so we can fantasize about someone else? Do we masturbate simply because it is fun? Because we just can? All of the above? Because there'd be no one to nag us after sex and call us 18 times in 2 days? (I feel for ya Mat...)
Women, for once, have the advantage of being able to do it practically anywhere, anytime, without the need of tissue or napkin, or whatever... Heck, if you feel stressed and pissed of in the middle of the work day, or if you just feel horny, you can just go to the bathroom and take care of yourself (it's trickier for guys).
What else? I'd really like to know why you do "it" and how often... Indulge my curiosity.
05 May 2006
Myriade de cadavres
Finished the book "Asiles de fous" which I found very interesting... To see the different perspectives concerning the events of one day, and the different narrative styles was a good exercise in realizing how we perceive things differently, and how our thoughts are sometimes blinding us to see things the way they really are...
Here's a final quote from the book:
"Notre avenir n'est pas tracé, nous nous modifions beaucoup trop, nous sommes chaotiques, et je me dis parfois qu'à notre mort nous laisserons derrière nous la myriade de cadavres de tous ces gens que nous avons été pleinement, mais l'espace d'un instant, d'une semaine, ou de quelques années."
Cette citation est assez intéréssante étant donné qu'elle parle directement de notre identité, de ce qu'on pense être (et qq part devenir)... Elle fait référence à nos différents masques, et à nos attitudes diverses. En fin de compte, nous ne sommes parfois qu'un mélange schizophrénique... You'll have to excuse the mood...
In the meantime, I've picked up another book "Archimedes' Revenge" by Paul Hoffman which seems promissing... We'll see.
On a more personal note, it seems like today is going to be a crappy day with crappy weather. I hope it passes quickly.
Here's a final quote from the book:
"Notre avenir n'est pas tracé, nous nous modifions beaucoup trop, nous sommes chaotiques, et je me dis parfois qu'à notre mort nous laisserons derrière nous la myriade de cadavres de tous ces gens que nous avons été pleinement, mais l'espace d'un instant, d'une semaine, ou de quelques années."
Cette citation est assez intéréssante étant donné qu'elle parle directement de notre identité, de ce qu'on pense être (et qq part devenir)... Elle fait référence à nos différents masques, et à nos attitudes diverses. En fin de compte, nous ne sommes parfois qu'un mélange schizophrénique... You'll have to excuse the mood...
In the meantime, I've picked up another book "Archimedes' Revenge" by Paul Hoffman which seems promissing... We'll see.
On a more personal note, it seems like today is going to be a crappy day with crappy weather. I hope it passes quickly.
02 May 2006
Trade-offs: sex, career, and the whole shebang
A slightly lighter post this time on the choices that we make in life. I was thinking about the little trade-offs we make on an every day basis, with the hope to facilitate or make easier our lives on the medium to long term. Another word for trade-off would be "settle" I guess...
You trade-off your smashing single life for married life to be with a loved one for as long as you stand one another... You trade-off having sex with whomever you want to have sex only with one person only because they know exactly what makes you tick... You trade-off living in a big city to be closer to family and to your roots... You trade-off a stable well-paying job to something new and risky... You trade-off buying a sensible car for a bigger one because this is the only time you will escape paying a crazy amount in customs...
We make these trade-offs because we make (I suppose unconsciously) calculations on what will maximize our well-being over the long term... We go with our brains because we think it more reasonable than going with our heart (feeling).
I suppose the ideal situation is to think reasonably about the choices we make in order not to have any regrets in the long term... not to ask those pesky "what if" questions... not to always go with our brains... not to always go with our hearts... not to always succumb to our libido... not to always be selfish.
You trade-off your smashing single life for married life to be with a loved one for as long as you stand one another... You trade-off having sex with whomever you want to have sex only with one person only because they know exactly what makes you tick... You trade-off living in a big city to be closer to family and to your roots... You trade-off a stable well-paying job to something new and risky... You trade-off buying a sensible car for a bigger one because this is the only time you will escape paying a crazy amount in customs...
We make these trade-offs because we make (I suppose unconsciously) calculations on what will maximize our well-being over the long term... We go with our brains because we think it more reasonable than going with our heart (feeling).
I suppose the ideal situation is to think reasonably about the choices we make in order not to have any regrets in the long term... not to ask those pesky "what if" questions... not to always go with our brains... not to always go with our hearts... not to always succumb to our libido... not to always be selfish.
28 April 2006
Breaking up and masturbation
A post partially in french, as the book I am reading (Asiles de fous) is in french... So here are a couple of quotes that I find interesting:
This one is about a guy who sends his dad to break up with his girlfriend:
Quand on sonnait à la porte je me disais qu'il avait la clé, et qu'après tout ce que m'avait dit son père, sa mère, après tout ce que lui n'avait pas eu le courage de me dire et qu'il m'avait fait cracher au visage par les bouches de ses géniteurs, je n'allais pas me précipiter pour lui ouvrir nue sous un tablier noir comme une soubrette de bordel.
This one is about the fact that all women naturally masturbate:
Toute femme est par nature onaniste, celles qui cherchent désespérément leur plaisir auprès des mâles sont des maladroites qui ne méritent pas leurs doigts.
This one is about a guy who sends his dad to break up with his girlfriend:
Quand on sonnait à la porte je me disais qu'il avait la clé, et qu'après tout ce que m'avait dit son père, sa mère, après tout ce que lui n'avait pas eu le courage de me dire et qu'il m'avait fait cracher au visage par les bouches de ses géniteurs, je n'allais pas me précipiter pour lui ouvrir nue sous un tablier noir comme une soubrette de bordel.
This one is about the fact that all women naturally masturbate:
Toute femme est par nature onaniste, celles qui cherchent désespérément leur plaisir auprès des mâles sont des maladroites qui ne méritent pas leurs doigts.
21 April 2006
Compassion: what are your reasons?
A couple of days ago, I had a very intense discussion about the concept of Good and Evil... I said that I believed in basic human nature and its basic goodness, he said, without his fear of God (and punishment) he did not see why he would not kill whomever he wanted. Basically, he advanced Heliodore's comment regarding "La loi du plus fort" or "The rule of the strong".
I don't agree. But that's an entire other entry. The point of this blog is compassion, which without basic goodness cannot be. I do strongly believe that we can (and do) do things without expectation of reward (be it on Earth or in the Heavens). My belief (and perhaps I am naive) is that we behave sometimes out of pure desire to help someone in need of our help. We do volunteer work because we want to feed the homeless or remove the plastic bottles from the beach, not because we believe in God and that our "good" actions will get us in the door.
We see misery and hunger and we want to alleviate it because of a need, a basic human nature need, to nurture, to help, to offer one's hand. I do this because I can, because I want to, and at some level, because it is my duty as a human to help another one if I can (or help out an animal in distress)...
So, is the theory of compassion in a godless word possible or not? Share you thoughts and your potential cynicism... I'm all ears.
I don't agree. But that's an entire other entry. The point of this blog is compassion, which without basic goodness cannot be. I do strongly believe that we can (and do) do things without expectation of reward (be it on Earth or in the Heavens). My belief (and perhaps I am naive) is that we behave sometimes out of pure desire to help someone in need of our help. We do volunteer work because we want to feed the homeless or remove the plastic bottles from the beach, not because we believe in God and that our "good" actions will get us in the door.
We see misery and hunger and we want to alleviate it because of a need, a basic human nature need, to nurture, to help, to offer one's hand. I do this because I can, because I want to, and at some level, because it is my duty as a human to help another one if I can (or help out an animal in distress)...
So, is the theory of compassion in a godless word possible or not? Share you thoughts and your potential cynicism... I'm all ears.
18 April 2006
The concept of fairness (or lack thereof)
Due in great part to my upbringing and to my perspective of life, I very much value the concept of fairness, be it related to politics, gender, pay, treatment, or any other thing really. The reason is that I am a strong believer in balance and equilibrium, and I do feel that one who leads a moderate life (overall, you can't be moderate on everything... you'll stop having opinions, and stop being interesting in my eyes) will have a healthy lifestyle.
You can't eat cake everyday and keep your figure, just as you can't occupy a country of years and not expect retaliation and regular explosions. Of course, the real question is "what is fairness?". Defining such a term is very difficult, and shall bring forth lots of discussion, but let's give it a shot. Fairness implies impartiality, and lack of prejudice or favoritism. It means that you will not think of your own interest, and that you will do your best to be objective and do things the way they need to be.
So why am I writing about fairness? Because I have been noticing less and less of it every day. Egocentrism and self-importance are taking over, and most people think that they are the wheel on which everything is turning. Not only is it at the individual level, but also at group levels. There are many many examples of the groups : a particular religious group that will be prejudiced and try to eliminate another group due to ignorance (Inquisition anyone?), or a government that will force its rule on another (colonisation in all its forms)...
Perhaps if we, at the individual level, make an effort, albeit minimal, we might try to make a dent somewhere that will have its repercussions.
This is not utopia.
This is not paradise.
This is a possibility that requires of us to make a sacrifice.
This is a reality to requires us to speak up when we notice such unfairness.
This is a duty that we all have to ameliorate our selves.
Because in the end, that is all that we have.
You can't eat cake everyday and keep your figure, just as you can't occupy a country of years and not expect retaliation and regular explosions. Of course, the real question is "what is fairness?". Defining such a term is very difficult, and shall bring forth lots of discussion, but let's give it a shot. Fairness implies impartiality, and lack of prejudice or favoritism. It means that you will not think of your own interest, and that you will do your best to be objective and do things the way they need to be.
So why am I writing about fairness? Because I have been noticing less and less of it every day. Egocentrism and self-importance are taking over, and most people think that they are the wheel on which everything is turning. Not only is it at the individual level, but also at group levels. There are many many examples of the groups : a particular religious group that will be prejudiced and try to eliminate another group due to ignorance (Inquisition anyone?), or a government that will force its rule on another (colonisation in all its forms)...
Perhaps if we, at the individual level, make an effort, albeit minimal, we might try to make a dent somewhere that will have its repercussions.
This is not utopia.
This is not paradise.
This is a possibility that requires of us to make a sacrifice.
This is a reality to requires us to speak up when we notice such unfairness.
This is a duty that we all have to ameliorate our selves.
Because in the end, that is all that we have.
14 April 2006
The art of covering one's ass...
You live you learn... what does not kill you makes you stronger... etc, etc... All the BS that you've heard a million times. Those are some of the clichés I've been telling myself in the past couple of days, because it seems that I need to rationalize and understand the situation.
It seems that good faith will get you no where and at the first chance anyone (pretty much really) gets, they will fuck you over. Why do I say that? Because nobody wants to assume the responsibility of what they are doing or supposed to be doing... because, as I was told yesterday, "après moi le déluge" and "Akhta rassi we adhreb" which means "the floods after me" and "spare my head and hit"... which is really an attitude that I find deplorable and sad and just pitiful.
It got me thiking about all the creatures that do not think and that do the same task over and over again, without question, without worry, without thought, and how they seemingly seemed content with this type of life. If they only knew the possibilities out there... the knowledge to be discovered, the things to see, the foods to eat, the art to be appreciated, etc...
But then again, to each his own... spare my head and dwell in your "world"...
It seems that good faith will get you no where and at the first chance anyone (pretty much really) gets, they will fuck you over. Why do I say that? Because nobody wants to assume the responsibility of what they are doing or supposed to be doing... because, as I was told yesterday, "après moi le déluge" and "Akhta rassi we adhreb" which means "the floods after me" and "spare my head and hit"... which is really an attitude that I find deplorable and sad and just pitiful.
It got me thiking about all the creatures that do not think and that do the same task over and over again, without question, without worry, without thought, and how they seemingly seemed content with this type of life. If they only knew the possibilities out there... the knowledge to be discovered, the things to see, the foods to eat, the art to be appreciated, etc...
But then again, to each his own... spare my head and dwell in your "world"...
12 April 2006
Robert Plant rocks
A couple of you guys asked me about the Robert Plant ticket… I did write about it twice (link) but never followed up on what happened… I never did find that ticket! And still can’t for that matter. Thankfully, a friend’s friend got sick and had to sell her ticket… So one person’s misery makes another’s happiness. I forked over more cash, but hey, it is not every day that one sees Robert Plant. And let’s face it, I am not taking any chances in Tunisia… Decent concerts are only every other (who knows how long)…
The entire event was fantastic. Had I known I could take pictures, I’d have brought my camera. In the states, it’s absolutely forbidden… I should have known that it was possible here though… In any case, I got there around 8pm or so, and caught a metal French band, Adagio. They are very heavy metal, so you could see a lot of teens banging their heads with the music and screaming the lyrics. It was frankly heart warming. I am a sucker for concerts and to see so many people completely involved is close to being enchanting.
Robert Plant came out around 10pm or so, and the man ROCKS. He’s truly fantastic. There’s no doubt when listening to him, how this man reached the status he has. The great thing is that he did not disappoint the spectators… This means that he played lots of Led Zeppelin songs. He did not do “Stairway to Heaven” or “Kashmir” (post Led Zeppelin but with Jimmy Page), but played Black Dog, Misty Mountain Hop (from IV), Whole Lotta Love (II), and many more. I was so very intoxicated that I don’t really remember all of the LZ songs he played.
Since he started up a new group himself, he (of course and one should hope so) played a couple of the songs. The Led Zeppelin songs he performed were slightly different in their sound; he added a touch of his flavor, with a heavy dose of North African tone. I suppose that he’s still under the influence.
The thing lasted over an hour and a half, and made my week… I hope he comes back and takes us to the stairway to heaven…
The entire event was fantastic. Had I known I could take pictures, I’d have brought my camera. In the states, it’s absolutely forbidden… I should have known that it was possible here though… In any case, I got there around 8pm or so, and caught a metal French band, Adagio. They are very heavy metal, so you could see a lot of teens banging their heads with the music and screaming the lyrics. It was frankly heart warming. I am a sucker for concerts and to see so many people completely involved is close to being enchanting.
Robert Plant came out around 10pm or so, and the man ROCKS. He’s truly fantastic. There’s no doubt when listening to him, how this man reached the status he has. The great thing is that he did not disappoint the spectators… This means that he played lots of Led Zeppelin songs. He did not do “Stairway to Heaven” or “Kashmir” (post Led Zeppelin but with Jimmy Page), but played Black Dog, Misty Mountain Hop (from IV), Whole Lotta Love (II), and many more. I was so very intoxicated that I don’t really remember all of the LZ songs he played.
Since he started up a new group himself, he (of course and one should hope so) played a couple of the songs. The Led Zeppelin songs he performed were slightly different in their sound; he added a touch of his flavor, with a heavy dose of North African tone. I suppose that he’s still under the influence.
The thing lasted over an hour and a half, and made my week… I hope he comes back and takes us to the stairway to heaven…
10 April 2006
In need of some light...
So the week-end was mostly relaxing, said good-bye to a cousin whoÂ’s trying his luck and migratingÂ… Comforted my aunt who could not believe her only child was taking such a huge leap of faith, chilled, watched some TV, and a couple of moviesÂ…
In the meantime, as some of my readers know, went through my regular existential, once-every- 8-weeks, crisis. Wondering what itÂ’s all aboutWonderingring about what is important and what is not, the point of it all, the true meaning of faith, the beauty in wonderment, why are we the way we are, is there possibility to change, am I on the right path and when will I know if I am wrong, can I be a sheep disguised as a wolf or must I turn into one to make it, the beauty of body language, the theory of relativity, and how much it must suck to be an ant.
I need to delve more into reading to empty my head. I donÂ’t know if itÂ’s reading some Socrates right now that is filling my head with questions, or whatÂ… Or that time of the year, questioning everythingÂ…
In the meantime, have started reading “Asiles de fous” which seems pretty good. I hope it will bring some enlightenment...
In the meantime, as some of my readers know, went through my regular existential, once-every- 8-weeks, crisis. Wondering what itÂ’s all aboutWonderingring about what is important and what is not, the point of it all, the true meaning of faith, the beauty in wonderment, why are we the way we are, is there possibility to change, am I on the right path and when will I know if I am wrong, can I be a sheep disguised as a wolf or must I turn into one to make it, the beauty of body language, the theory of relativity, and how much it must suck to be an ant.
I need to delve more into reading to empty my head. I donÂ’t know if itÂ’s reading some Socrates right now that is filling my head with questions, or whatÂ… Or that time of the year, questioning everythingÂ…
In the meantime, have started reading “Asiles de fous” which seems pretty good. I hope it will bring some enlightenment...
07 April 2006
Friendship
The ever resourceful Conan sent me a link of a little video that highlights the friendship between a kitten and a rooster. They play together (more like the cat plays and the rooster does not do anything) and they sleep together (not shag, just sleep). What is interesting is that the cat actually seeks the rooster. It makes the effort to hang out with the poultry.
It got me thinking about human friendships, and how they are sometimes difficult. Is it because we are inherently selfish and only think of what this relation will bring us? Is it because we think too much about strategy and how we should evolve within this relationship? Is it perhaps that we are just too sensitive as creatures? Is it a trust thing? What is it exactly that complicates our interactions?
Can't we just hang out, eat, and just chill? Do we really have to think that some have ulterior motives? Why can't we just be like the cat and the rooster? Is our consciousness (in a way) killing us to the point that we are unable to just be? Is that why only children have decent friendships? And past age 10 or 11, it all just goes to hell?
Am I being too cynical here or am I justified in thinking that humans unnecessarily complicate their existence?
It got me thinking about human friendships, and how they are sometimes difficult. Is it because we are inherently selfish and only think of what this relation will bring us? Is it because we think too much about strategy and how we should evolve within this relationship? Is it perhaps that we are just too sensitive as creatures? Is it a trust thing? What is it exactly that complicates our interactions?
Can't we just hang out, eat, and just chill? Do we really have to think that some have ulterior motives? Why can't we just be like the cat and the rooster? Is our consciousness (in a way) killing us to the point that we are unable to just be? Is that why only children have decent friendships? And past age 10 or 11, it all just goes to hell?
Am I being too cynical here or am I justified in thinking that humans unnecessarily complicate their existence?
05 April 2006
Just to be clear...
I am not addicted to drugs or whatever... I am simply wondering about that point of no return, from habit to addiction...
Work has been interesting in these past couple of days. I don't usually talk about work in itself, except to complain perhaps about some bathroom issues... But lately, the situation pretty much requires that i write about it or i will go nuts. It has started to eat me up, and frankly, it ain't healthy to be pissed off at work. I am finding myself stuck. The environment is totally polluted as everyone is looking to discharge oneself from their duties, or to do a transference of their state of anger (even cold rage) on someone else... I find myself soaking up some of this negative energy, and worst of all, I find myself being angry, pissed, and just in an overall bad mood.
So I just went and relieved my soul to management, and I feel better. I don't know if much will come of it (I will wait one week and push again), but at least, they are aware of the situation.
Meanwhile, I am almost done with The Autograph Man. It took me some time to finish this book, and it's not for lack of enthusiam or anything, but just not reading fast enough (or exhaustion in general)... And that's it for me...
Oh yeah, one last thing, got another toy! I am the proud owner of an HP pavilion dv5036EA. There is now at home, a grand total of 3 laptops. Can you say geek?
Work has been interesting in these past couple of days. I don't usually talk about work in itself, except to complain perhaps about some bathroom issues... But lately, the situation pretty much requires that i write about it or i will go nuts. It has started to eat me up, and frankly, it ain't healthy to be pissed off at work. I am finding myself stuck. The environment is totally polluted as everyone is looking to discharge oneself from their duties, or to do a transference of their state of anger (even cold rage) on someone else... I find myself soaking up some of this negative energy, and worst of all, I find myself being angry, pissed, and just in an overall bad mood.
So I just went and relieved my soul to management, and I feel better. I don't know if much will come of it (I will wait one week and push again), but at least, they are aware of the situation.
Meanwhile, I am almost done with The Autograph Man. It took me some time to finish this book, and it's not for lack of enthusiam or anything, but just not reading fast enough (or exhaustion in general)... And that's it for me...
Oh yeah, one last thing, got another toy! I am the proud owner of an HP pavilion dv5036EA. There is now at home, a grand total of 3 laptops. Can you say geek?
03 April 2006
Habit and Addiction
I am writing again about habit and addiction because it is a subject that I’ve been thinking about often lately. I was actually wondering how the switch comes to be from habit to an actual full-fledged addiction.
Because let’s face it, the definition of habit is in a way comforting, but even hearing the word addiction worries you. You know it is a bad thing. Addiction implies an obsessive behavior, a behavior that is negative. Per its definition, addiction means "to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively" (www.m-w.com).So how does the switch happen? Is it an incapacity to control a particular behavior? Is it something so good that It pushes to an excess?
One can be addicted to all kinds of things… a person, a star, an author, a concept, a belief, a substance… I suppose that as humans we are weak. We tend to succumb to one thing or another. We’d like to extend the feeling of pleasure that we experience thanks to this addiction. We don’t want to let go of this feeling because it’s like a ray of sun on a gray and dark day. It brings us joy, hope, and a feeling of ease.
Addiction does however have its dark sides, as it pushes us to behave stupidly, to ruin ourselves (be it mental, physical, or financial), and ultimately to lose who we are… All we end up thinking about is that ray. We forget that the storm always comes to an end, and that the weather ultimately changes.
Because let’s face it, the definition of habit is in a way comforting, but even hearing the word addiction worries you. You know it is a bad thing. Addiction implies an obsessive behavior, a behavior that is negative. Per its definition, addiction means "to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively" (www.m-w.com).So how does the switch happen? Is it an incapacity to control a particular behavior? Is it something so good that It pushes to an excess?
One can be addicted to all kinds of things… a person, a star, an author, a concept, a belief, a substance… I suppose that as humans we are weak. We tend to succumb to one thing or another. We’d like to extend the feeling of pleasure that we experience thanks to this addiction. We don’t want to let go of this feeling because it’s like a ray of sun on a gray and dark day. It brings us joy, hope, and a feeling of ease.
Addiction does however have its dark sides, as it pushes us to behave stupidly, to ruin ourselves (be it mental, physical, or financial), and ultimately to lose who we are… All we end up thinking about is that ray. We forget that the storm always comes to an end, and that the weather ultimately changes.
27 March 2006
the trouble
The troube with habit... It is horrible. You get used to something or someone, or some activity, and you end up hooked on it... It becomes well... a habit, which is by definition a "settled tendency or usual manner of behavior". We acquire habits by doing the same actions, by becoming more comfortable in performing them, and by getting a nice satisfactory feeling. It could be getting the same flavor ice cream, or the same route to work/home, or being complimented consistently.
The trouble with habit is that it is good because we know what to expect. We know what's coming our way, and we're prepared for it. So when there is a break in that habit, a silence, no dark chocolate flavor, a closed route, we get a little stuck... a little disappointed, a little scared, a little stunned.
Habit is great, but habit really sucks. It tricks us into comfort. It numbs us. The best habit is NOT to have any habits.
The trouble with habit is that it is good because we know what to expect. We know what's coming our way, and we're prepared for it. So when there is a break in that habit, a silence, no dark chocolate flavor, a closed route, we get a little stuck... a little disappointed, a little scared, a little stunned.
Habit is great, but habit really sucks. It tricks us into comfort. It numbs us. The best habit is NOT to have any habits.
23 March 2006
bummed, bummed, and bummed...
So I looked for my Robert Plant and could not find it!!! I am in a bit of panic mode... I will turn over the entire house tonight to locate the bloody piece of paper... I am pretty sure that the concert is sold out and I'd rather not fourk out 20 DT again (but i will if if have to and can)...
Lots of projects are coming to an end at work, so I am hoping that things will be smoother...
On a totally different note, I was thinking about fashion, and how for those that do follow it (make an effort to be part of the "in" crowd) just all look the same. My intentions were to write a proper blog entry on this, but I could not because I can't seem to find the time anymore... Now that I have this opportunity to write, and I'm just gonna go with the flow. So fashion sucks, and those who follow it end up looking like everyone else, some manufactured look by some designer... And the result is a bunch of personality-devoided people all looking the same.
That's all the venting for today. Thanks for listening ;)
Lots of projects are coming to an end at work, so I am hoping that things will be smoother...
On a totally different note, I was thinking about fashion, and how for those that do follow it (make an effort to be part of the "in" crowd) just all look the same. My intentions were to write a proper blog entry on this, but I could not because I can't seem to find the time anymore... Now that I have this opportunity to write, and I'm just gonna go with the flow. So fashion sucks, and those who follow it end up looking like everyone else, some manufactured look by some designer... And the result is a bunch of personality-devoided people all looking the same.
That's all the venting for today. Thanks for listening ;)
22 March 2006
catching up
Hello folks... It's been a while, yes I know. The thing I wanted so much to avoid (routine) is getting back... A bit haunted by bad code and HTML going crazy. The best (so to speak) was dreaming about ASP errors the other night.
Took the weekend off and went to the lovely island of Djerba. It was sooo very good to just chill, eat, drink, sleep, and catch up on the reading. There's not much going on really except for work. There is this week, the guitar festival, so I will be going this friday to see Robert Plant, of Led Zeppelin (if I find the ticket... it's somewhere "lost" at home).
Otherwise, it's trying to breath a little bit outside of work, and explore around me...
Took the weekend off and went to the lovely island of Djerba. It was sooo very good to just chill, eat, drink, sleep, and catch up on the reading. There's not much going on really except for work. There is this week, the guitar festival, so I will be going this friday to see Robert Plant, of Led Zeppelin (if I find the ticket... it's somewhere "lost" at home).
Otherwise, it's trying to breath a little bit outside of work, and explore around me...
17 March 2006
Can you say "screw you guys"?
Well, that's pretty much it for me... I am at the end of the week... Much in need to sleep, gaze at green pastures and eat (much like a cow or cat actually)... So this week-end, I shall do NOTHING.
13 March 2006
priorities in life...
so i was talking this past couple of days with friends and family about our priorities in life, and how they very much differ from one person to another... some people work crazy hours, others are content with the 40 hours... some people will interrupt their life to do charity work, missionary work, etc... others will put family before anything...
How do we come up with our priorities? and how do we determine if they are what they should be? Isn't it very possible that we are for example working too hard? Not thanking God enough? Not doing "good" enough (and by that I don't mean not doing bad, but consciously doing good), or ignoring other people's poverty or poor overall conditions...
Don't we sometimes stray?
How do we come up with our priorities? and how do we determine if they are what they should be? Isn't it very possible that we are for example working too hard? Not thanking God enough? Not doing "good" enough (and by that I don't mean not doing bad, but consciously doing good), or ignoring other people's poverty or poor overall conditions...
Don't we sometimes stray?
07 March 2006
Finally!
Finally got some time to breathe and write a couple of lines... I've been swamped with work these pas couple of days and all the paperwork anyone can handle for all kinds of B.S...
Finally got my car yesterday :) I am very excited... I love my rims! I drove for almost 100 km... Getting used to manual shifting and having a blast improving my technique in my own car!
I started reading "The Autograph Man" by Zadie Smith. This is her 2nd novel, and so far, I am enjoying it.
Finally got my car yesterday :) I am very excited... I love my rims! I drove for almost 100 km... Getting used to manual shifting and having a blast improving my technique in my own car!
I started reading "The Autograph Man" by Zadie Smith. This is her 2nd novel, and so far, I am enjoying it.
28 February 2006
after much thought...
I decided, after much much thought, that whomever had a problem with my attitude can just f*ck off.
Now, I am not saying that there's not always room for self-improvement, but I will not cater to your inferiority complex, your unecessarily complicated vision of life, or your overtly sensitiveness.
So there. I feel much better now after getting to this conclusion. If you find offense with me, go see a shrink and simplify your existence.
Cheers on a sunny day.
Now, I am not saying that there's not always room for self-improvement, but I will not cater to your inferiority complex, your unecessarily complicated vision of life, or your overtly sensitiveness.
So there. I feel much better now after getting to this conclusion. If you find offense with me, go see a shrink and simplify your existence.
Cheers on a sunny day.
23 February 2006
Introspection
I was thinking about how differently we can appear to one person or to another. Occasionally, we put on different faces, it's true. You behave differently depending on whether you talk to your boss, to your client, to your colleague, to your mother, to your friend, or to your aunt. We need to behave differently because each one knows us from a different aspect. In fact, the whole of "one", of the Ego is only truly known to ourselves. And in fact, do we really know who we are? It's a difficult question... it all depends on perception and perception differs from one person to another.
The concept of introspection is new and is very well... unreliable. How objective can one be about oneself? And why is it that if you behave the same way towards friend A or friend B, that A perceives you differently than B? Is it because the sensitivities of A are different from B? Does one need more care than the other? And if A perceives you differently, should you care?
Again, more random thoughts, and this time, on a rainy day... But I'd be curious to hear what you guys think, or if you've read something that you deem interesting. Introspection is all about perception, and both are difficult concepts to grasp.
The concept of introspection is new and is very well... unreliable. How objective can one be about oneself? And why is it that if you behave the same way towards friend A or friend B, that A perceives you differently than B? Is it because the sensitivities of A are different from B? Does one need more care than the other? And if A perceives you differently, should you care?
Again, more random thoughts, and this time, on a rainy day... But I'd be curious to hear what you guys think, or if you've read something that you deem interesting. Introspection is all about perception, and both are difficult concepts to grasp.
21 February 2006
Superstition
I was thinking this weekend over the concept of superstition... What it is, what it means, and why we have it. Some of the things are common to regions, some are found in countries. For example, in the mediterranean, there is the concept of the evil eye. The evil eye is similar to being jinxed... it means that people, with envy (and there bad eye), will bring you misfortune. In order to protect yourself from the evil eye, you wear a pendant or a bracelet or whatever... Another concept in North Africa is the hand of fatima, which you have on yourself, and should be made of silver. In India, seeing a young girl in the morning means you will have a good day, whereas seeing a widow means the countrary. Some concepts are (almost) universal, such as seeing a black cat... or knocking on wood for good fortune.
How exactly did these concept come to be? Why should it be made out of silver, and how did the design of this evil eye develop? What is it with black cats? Does believing in one thing or the other affect you as a person? Is superstition like a placebo?
Does a string of bad luck means you are unlucky (and what is luck anyway?) or that you were "stricken" with the bad eye? Or is it just cause and consequence in some weird cosmic order of things that made things the way they are?
I am a strong believer in cause and consequence and when a random event keeps on repeating itself, I just wonder.
Perhaps superstition is a way, a reason for us humans, to justify the bad things, the random sh*t that hits all of us ones in a while. If it is a nasty day, it must be the evil eye, or the black cat, or the widow. It can't be because you were clumsy and tired, and you hit yourself, or a colleague infected you with a virus, or a drunk driver hit you, and it just happened to be you, not the person after you. And if it's a nasty string that is hitting you, perhaps sacrificing a lamb will help improve your karma.
Random thoughts on a sunny day...
How exactly did these concept come to be? Why should it be made out of silver, and how did the design of this evil eye develop? What is it with black cats? Does believing in one thing or the other affect you as a person? Is superstition like a placebo?
Does a string of bad luck means you are unlucky (and what is luck anyway?) or that you were "stricken" with the bad eye? Or is it just cause and consequence in some weird cosmic order of things that made things the way they are?
I am a strong believer in cause and consequence and when a random event keeps on repeating itself, I just wonder.
Perhaps superstition is a way, a reason for us humans, to justify the bad things, the random sh*t that hits all of us ones in a while. If it is a nasty day, it must be the evil eye, or the black cat, or the widow. It can't be because you were clumsy and tired, and you hit yourself, or a colleague infected you with a virus, or a drunk driver hit you, and it just happened to be you, not the person after you. And if it's a nasty string that is hitting you, perhaps sacrificing a lamb will help improve your karma.
Random thoughts on a sunny day...
17 February 2006
it is over yet?
I very badly want this week to be over. Haven't had the opportunity to even read other blogs or news or anything. Just work and trying to recover mentally and physically. I think I'm going to spend the weekend baking (it always relaxes me) and distribute to friends and family... In the meantime counting down the hours to end of the business day...
14 February 2006
Different peeing techniques
So I am (for now) in a very interesting work environment. I am the only female, surrounded by guy colleagues. It's a very interesting atmosphere, and it really helps that I grew up with male cousins and that throughout school, most of my good friends were guys... Anyway...
The point of this blog is ... well... peeing. As you all know (I hope), men and women pee differently. For women, in public places, there is the hover technique, the put paper-all-over technique, the just-f*ck-it-i'm-sitting technique, and many others (please do share yours).
For guys, I guess, and correct me if I'm wrong, there is the, lift or no lift technique. I can tell that at work, these are the 2 ones used, because either the seat is lifted, or I find "remnants" over the seat. So the question is, why is it so hard to aim? Or is it some sort of pleasure to just sing a song and sway from left to right while peeing? What is it that unables you guys (some of you at least) to pee on the seat?
Come on now guys... Just pee (some pun intended hehe)
The point of this blog is ... well... peeing. As you all know (I hope), men and women pee differently. For women, in public places, there is the hover technique, the put paper-all-over technique, the just-f*ck-it-i'm-sitting technique, and many others (please do share yours).
For guys, I guess, and correct me if I'm wrong, there is the, lift or no lift technique. I can tell that at work, these are the 2 ones used, because either the seat is lifted, or I find "remnants" over the seat. So the question is, why is it so hard to aim? Or is it some sort of pleasure to just sing a song and sway from left to right while peeing? What is it that unables you guys (some of you at least) to pee on the seat?
Come on now guys... Just pee (some pun intended hehe)
10 February 2006
The art of pressure aka nagging
I hate it. I f*cking hate those who nag, those who will ask me the same damned question over and over and over again. I just... urgh. Either these people have a short term memory and forgot that they've already asked me the same question so many times... Or, I don't know. I guess some people just enjoy doing it, or just don't realize it.
Sometimes this comes from your boss, your parent, a friend, or whatever. And well, just... F*ck off, ok. I know what I need to do, I know the delays, and f*ck, I'll do it when I get around doing it.
Ok. I feel better. I just hate being pressured, and I had to hurt the keyboard.
Sometimes this comes from your boss, your parent, a friend, or whatever. And well, just... F*ck off, ok. I know what I need to do, I know the delays, and f*ck, I'll do it when I get around doing it.
Ok. I feel better. I just hate being pressured, and I had to hurt the keyboard.
09 February 2006
Soap box
I realized that blogging was somewhat therapeutic... Subzeroblue talked about blogging vs. psychiatry, and I realized that my blog enabled me not only to vent, but share this venting... Meaning, I can climb on my soap box, I'll have a small audience who will be with or against me, and frankly, I like that (I know that sounds corny).
These days, for everyone and for different reasons, one feels more pressure, be it from the boss, your mom, your significant other, your colleagues, or anyone in general around you... And knowing that you can let off steam and sometimes learn a way to deal with it through a blog is a good healthy economical solution.
So thanks readers for being my shrinks ;)
These days, for everyone and for different reasons, one feels more pressure, be it from the boss, your mom, your significant other, your colleagues, or anyone in general around you... And knowing that you can let off steam and sometimes learn a way to deal with it through a blog is a good healthy economical solution.
So thanks readers for being my shrinks ;)
08 February 2006
still waiting...
Nothing much going on, still waiting to hear news about my car... Checking for delays, production dates, etc... So I guess I am a bit antsy about it because I want to get it out of the way and drive my 16 inch alloy wheels...
On another note, an interesting quote from Heart Seizure:
"He had once said, "Look. If you're wealthy when a candidate takes office, you'll be wealthy when a candidate leaves office, assuming you don't lose money yourself. Conversely, if you're poor when a candidate takes office, then, absent your own efforts to improve your position, you'll be poor when that candidate leaves office. We politicians might make it slightly easier or a little more difficult to improve your net worth, but most of the work is up to the people" (page 188).
This is interesting in itself as people always vote for this or that issue, and always think in the end about their pocketbook... Few vote on issues, and issues in and of themselves cannot be the only drive you have to vote for a candidate. You cannot just look at one thing and vote for this or that candidate because in the end you are limiting yourself... At the same time, politicians won't make you wealthier, it is up to you to suck it up, buckle up, and just do it (work that is ;)
On another note, an interesting quote from Heart Seizure:
"He had once said, "Look. If you're wealthy when a candidate takes office, you'll be wealthy when a candidate leaves office, assuming you don't lose money yourself. Conversely, if you're poor when a candidate takes office, then, absent your own efforts to improve your position, you'll be poor when that candidate leaves office. We politicians might make it slightly easier or a little more difficult to improve your net worth, but most of the work is up to the people" (page 188).
This is interesting in itself as people always vote for this or that issue, and always think in the end about their pocketbook... Few vote on issues, and issues in and of themselves cannot be the only drive you have to vote for a candidate. You cannot just look at one thing and vote for this or that candidate because in the end you are limiting yourself... At the same time, politicians won't make you wealthier, it is up to you to suck it up, buckle up, and just do it (work that is ;)
03 February 2006
Sense of priorities
What an ass wipe. I am referring to Bush, and him requesting more money to fund war. Instead of cash being spent on education, public housing, or people stricken by the hurricane, he is feeding this war machine that is bringing nothing productive. Only death, destruction, and further head from the rest of the world.
Bush is giving the US such a nasty reputation as a country... Because let's face it, people will associate the leader with the people, despite the fact that he "won" under the weirdest circumstances and that most people (sadly) did not go to vote. But it's a shame, and I bet the drilling in Alaska and other places will restart (or commence) to further feed his ego maniacal crazy ego.
Bush is giving the US such a nasty reputation as a country... Because let's face it, people will associate the leader with the people, despite the fact that he "won" under the weirdest circumstances and that most people (sadly) did not go to vote. But it's a shame, and I bet the drilling in Alaska and other places will restart (or commence) to further feed his ego maniacal crazy ego.
Can you say beump?
In the famous words of Inspector Clouseau "(I) have received a beump upon the head" (from the movie, The Pink Panther Strikes Again)... Why you ask? Because I am reaching to get a CD from the car, and "beumped" my head against the bloody car... Mind you, with such force, that I did get a bump within a minute or even less (I kid you not). You can't imagine the pain, and the burning you feel when you apply ice... It has not turned blue (for now), and thanks to pain killers, I was able to sleep relatively smoothly... It still hurts when I touch it, and I swear, if I remember which stupid ass CD it was, I will trample it.
Grant it, it was my stupidity, but still, I am blaming the CD. So there. Thankfully, I've not noticed any changes in brain functions... but please, if I start listening to hip hop or teen bop music, talking rubish about the green party or the left, let me know, and I'll go and get my head examined...
Grant it, it was my stupidity, but still, I am blaming the CD. So there. Thankfully, I've not noticed any changes in brain functions... but please, if I start listening to hip hop or teen bop music, talking rubish about the green party or the left, let me know, and I'll go and get my head examined...
02 February 2006
what's shaking
* Opinions are like assholes, everyone's got one (George Carlin)
* Tunisians are always in a hurry and always late (mine)
Nothing much going on really, just work, and reading... I've been feeling very much in a weird mood... I'm listening to Fearless (Pink Floyd, Meddle) almost 4 or 5 times a day, and I guess it makes me happy and sad at the same time (particularly the following lyrics: You pick the place and I'll choose the time / And I'll climb / That hill in my own way / Just wait a while for the right day.
Otherwise, advancing nicely with my reading, and already looking forward to the weekend...
Depending on how today goes, I might have brilliant news soon (can you say 16 inch rims?)
;)
* Tunisians are always in a hurry and always late (mine)
Nothing much going on really, just work, and reading... I've been feeling very much in a weird mood... I'm listening to Fearless (Pink Floyd, Meddle) almost 4 or 5 times a day, and I guess it makes me happy and sad at the same time (particularly the following lyrics: You pick the place and I'll choose the time / And I'll climb / That hill in my own way / Just wait a while for the right day.
Otherwise, advancing nicely with my reading, and already looking forward to the weekend...
Depending on how today goes, I might have brilliant news soon (can you say 16 inch rims?)
;)
30 January 2006
Lionleum floors
So I am reading Heart Seizure by Bill Fitzhugh, and this small passage struck me as funny. It takes place in a hospital, with an FBI Agent trying to get a heart (transplant) to the president of the US, and this is what happens to him:
He looked up from his throbbing tibia just in time to see a swinging door hurled open by an emergency case on a charging gurney. The door hit flush on his forehead. The furious transfer of energy flipped Agent Berger upside down and backward with such violence that when the back of his head cracked on the linoleum, it woke someone from a dream one floor down.
He looked up from his throbbing tibia just in time to see a swinging door hurled open by an emergency case on a charging gurney. The door hit flush on his forehead. The furious transfer of energy flipped Agent Berger upside down and backward with such violence that when the back of his head cracked on the linoleum, it woke someone from a dream one floor down.
27 January 2006
ups and downs
I know getting used to life, after moving from one country to another, takes time... I suppose it'll take a couple more time to find my "references"... Know where to shop for books, CDs, etc... know where to get the kind of clothes, etc. that I like. I know all of that. I know it takes time.
But I can't help but feel some level of fear of not being able to hold on. Because I am adapting in the meantime, and adaptation by definition means getting used to conditions, which means that now, I feel frustrated because I am adapting. The issue hence is that I need to find the patience in the meantime for this adaptation process.
People say I am strong and that I can take a lot. They also say that I am a very flexible person... But... but... it's hard, and I pray that God grant me the patience to live this adaptation and not break-down.
My mood in the meantime makes me sometimes a bit weird, because I can feel the ups and downs and the changes in mood. So to all those that I snap or you see me weird after laughing for a sec, sorry.
But I can't help but feel some level of fear of not being able to hold on. Because I am adapting in the meantime, and adaptation by definition means getting used to conditions, which means that now, I feel frustrated because I am adapting. The issue hence is that I need to find the patience in the meantime for this adaptation process.
People say I am strong and that I can take a lot. They also say that I am a very flexible person... But... but... it's hard, and I pray that God grant me the patience to live this adaptation and not break-down.
My mood in the meantime makes me sometimes a bit weird, because I can feel the ups and downs and the changes in mood. So to all those that I snap or you see me weird after laughing for a sec, sorry.
26 January 2006
Sh*tty day
Today's gonna be one of those days... Where I'm most probably gonna have a f*ck it attitude towards everything. I guess I must have dreamt too much and something disturbed me in my subconscious and I woke up pissed off. I hope it'll pass and that the day won't drag forever.
23 January 2006
How do you manage disappointment
The questions must be because of my reading (Socrates)... but seriously... How do you manage disappointment... Do you scream at the person? Do you scream in general (at anyone to get it off your chest)? Do you accept it as is and try to manage the situation the best way you can? Do you try and be rational about it? I know we all each behave differently and that we function differently, and that is why we behave differently.
Personally, I am trying to take a more "zen" attitude about disappointment and not be angry. I am trying to manage them as best as I can. You know, realize that there is no point, and that one must deal with the situation present, learn from whatever happened and move on.
I think that more and more I am forcing myself not to be or get angry... It's not healthy and it's not good.
How do you deal with disappointment?
Personally, I am trying to take a more "zen" attitude about disappointment and not be angry. I am trying to manage them as best as I can. You know, realize that there is no point, and that one must deal with the situation present, learn from whatever happened and move on.
I think that more and more I am forcing myself not to be or get angry... It's not healthy and it's not good.
How do you deal with disappointment?
What is Initiative?
and does it mattter? Isn't ignorance bliss? Yes and No.
These are my asnswers... I think that once in a while, one must show initiative in order to not only improve as an individual but to also contribute to whatever you are doing (work, home, etc.). Once in a while, you must take it upon yourself to do something that you are not asked to do... Because I sincerely believe that doing the minimum in life is not enough. That we are not put on earth to just live, breathe, eat, and reproduce. I believe in continuous self-improvement through continuous learning, and through continous trials (and sometimes failures, and that is sometimes how you really do learn).
Initiative also shows that one is not always asking you to do something. It's nice to be surprised and have someone offer you the help, without any expectations in return.
But the questions is, why do some have it and others not? I need to think about that... Your thoughts?
These are my asnswers... I think that once in a while, one must show initiative in order to not only improve as an individual but to also contribute to whatever you are doing (work, home, etc.). Once in a while, you must take it upon yourself to do something that you are not asked to do... Because I sincerely believe that doing the minimum in life is not enough. That we are not put on earth to just live, breathe, eat, and reproduce. I believe in continuous self-improvement through continuous learning, and through continous trials (and sometimes failures, and that is sometimes how you really do learn).
Initiative also shows that one is not always asking you to do something. It's nice to be surprised and have someone offer you the help, without any expectations in return.
But the questions is, why do some have it and others not? I need to think about that... Your thoughts?
19 January 2006
Pictures galore
I've been made aware of a future challenge that will take place (more details to come when all is official) and that will reward you with 7k TND if you were to win. The category I will be entering in will be photography. Nothing to lose, and much to win. The theme is Culture in Tunisia... So I am wondering what aspect of it to pic... The culture in its traditional way (romans, pottery, etc.) or the culture that we've become (good or bad). Your thoughts are welcome and encouraged!
I've been taking advantage of the shuffle function of my iTunes, and I'm listening right now to James Brown - Get Up Offa That Thing (which WILL make you wanna shake that thing), Leftfield - A Final Hit (from the soundtrack of Trainspotting), Paul Oakenfold - Chilled Eskimos/Take Me Away (Thanks again Zipir's Daddy for introducing me to him).
So all's well, and the acceptance of the realities of life are improving! (meaning, I'm coming to terms with the driving here...)
I've been taking advantage of the shuffle function of my iTunes, and I'm listening right now to James Brown - Get Up Offa That Thing (which WILL make you wanna shake that thing), Leftfield - A Final Hit (from the soundtrack of Trainspotting), Paul Oakenfold - Chilled Eskimos/Take Me Away (Thanks again Zipir's Daddy for introducing me to him).
So all's well, and the acceptance of the realities of life are improving! (meaning, I'm coming to terms with the driving here...)
16 January 2006
Feeling blue
Funny that in french, to feel blue, is: I have the cockroach... Anyways... Feeling blue/the cockroach...
In the Waiting Line by Zero 7
Wait in line
'Till your time
Ticking clock
Everyone stop
Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Woooohh
Do you believe
In what you see
There doesn't seem to be anybody else who agrees with me
Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe in
What you see
Nine to five
Living lies
Everyday
Stealing time
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can
Woooohh
Do you believe
In what you feel
It doesn't seem to be anybody else who agrees with me
Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see
Ah and I'll shout and I'll scream
But I'd rather not have seen
And I'll hide away for another day
Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see
Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can
In the Waiting Line by Zero 7
Wait in line
'Till your time
Ticking clock
Everyone stop
Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Woooohh
Do you believe
In what you see
There doesn't seem to be anybody else who agrees with me
Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe in
What you see
Nine to five
Living lies
Everyday
Stealing time
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can
Woooohh
Do you believe
In what you feel
It doesn't seem to be anybody else who agrees with me
Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see
Ah and I'll shout and I'll scream
But I'd rather not have seen
And I'll hide away for another day
Do you believe
In what you see
Motionless wheel
Nothing is real
Wasting my time
In the waiting line
Do you believe
In what you see
Everyone's saying different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Different things to me
Everyone's taking everything they can
Everything they can
15 January 2006
A little addendum on insanity... (sort of)
The question is... What is Mana Mana? Find out. Beware, it's a video which might take time to load, but is well worth it...
And the answer to the questions is... who cares? it makes me smile, guaranteed :)
And the answer to the questions is... who cares? it makes me smile, guaranteed :)
14 January 2006
what is insanity?
Insanity is very relative.
I think that is the first thing one must realize... Weren't once prophets and messengers called insane for the ideas or the things they said? Can a person be called insane simply because the person is seemingly going against logic? (which leads me to ask you this: isn't logic in itself sometimes relative?) Does insanity mean going against going the flow, society? Isn't insanity necessary to be creative sometimes?
I am delving a little bit into this topic of sorts in order to better understand my need to understand... Sounds a bit weird, I know. What I mean is that I noticed lately a need to explain everything, and sometimes, things just cannot be explained... One must realize that.
I confess that reading Socrates Café: A Fresh Taste of Philosophy, is leading me to ask even more questions about myself and others in general... I think I need to mix a bit my reading or all these questions (because really, one leads to many, and the loop does not end)... so I will start my newly acquired Heart Seizure by Bill Fitzhugh (Thanks Dad!) and try to keep my sanity...
By the way, if anyone out there around Tunis knows of a place where I can learn ceramics (the wheel technique) and all that stuff, please let me know ;) I am looking for a class to take on evenings or weekends...
I think that is the first thing one must realize... Weren't once prophets and messengers called insane for the ideas or the things they said? Can a person be called insane simply because the person is seemingly going against logic? (which leads me to ask you this: isn't logic in itself sometimes relative?) Does insanity mean going against going the flow, society? Isn't insanity necessary to be creative sometimes?
I am delving a little bit into this topic of sorts in order to better understand my need to understand... Sounds a bit weird, I know. What I mean is that I noticed lately a need to explain everything, and sometimes, things just cannot be explained... One must realize that.
I confess that reading Socrates Café: A Fresh Taste of Philosophy, is leading me to ask even more questions about myself and others in general... I think I need to mix a bit my reading or all these questions (because really, one leads to many, and the loop does not end)... so I will start my newly acquired Heart Seizure by Bill Fitzhugh (Thanks Dad!) and try to keep my sanity...
By the way, if anyone out there around Tunis knows of a place where I can learn ceramics (the wheel technique) and all that stuff, please let me know ;) I am looking for a class to take on evenings or weekends...
13 January 2006
Being sick sucks
What a great way to start the year... After what seemed to be a decent start, I get horrible stomach aches and pains... I get to the ER, and they say that most probably I have problems with my upper stomach... After about 5 injections (I kid you not), the pain subsides. The following day I am pretty much knocked out with all the pain killers, but the pain comes back. So yesterday morning, I call the doc again and he asks me to come and do a "fibroscopie" which leads to a diagnosis of a gastritis. Sucks asss. Why does it suck ass? Because I am forbidden now to eat spicy food (Thank GOD I already went to India and loaded on foods), any fatty foods (which is ok with me except this includes chocolate), and pretty much all things that make life enjoyable, like coffee and alcohol...
I will have to keep this diet going for about 14 days, then I see the doc again, and then we'll see. But what is totally sure is that spicy food is out of the question for me. So that's that for me...
Question of the week: what is insanity? (or how to define it really)?
I will have to keep this diet going for about 14 days, then I see the doc again, and then we'll see. But what is totally sure is that spicy food is out of the question for me. So that's that for me...
Question of the week: what is insanity? (or how to define it really)?
09 January 2006
Pollution
I just spent a great weekend in Ain Draham, where I got fresh air in my lungs, and escaped the excessive smoking habits of my fellow Tunisians... This particular small town (village?) in the north of the country is really green, mountainous (so I got to do some hiking/trekking), and overall soothing.
Now, trust me when I say that I am not always complaining or whinning... Really, it is not in my nature, but again, please view my questions or venting as a way of understanding my surroundings... A way to comprehend what is going on, because that is my nature. I need to understand why people do the things they do.
So, to get back to the subject. During the hike, while enjoying the beautiful cork oak trees, I start seeing empty beer cans... So just for "fun" and to see the extent of this disaster, we start counting the cans while climbing. Within the short span of 30 minutes, we hit 50 cans, and honestly I just had to stop because it was depressing me... Understand that this area, in the north of Africa gets snow, is very green, and very unique in its landscape (you will see the pictures I took very soon)... Nothing that the average european/american can understand (they always thing of tunisia a sandy landscape, not a mountainous green one). In my eyes, we have something precious and beautiful that we need to take care of, to preserve and to be proud of.
How do some show this pride? By filling the freakin forest with cans of beer, sardines, yogurt, and harissa. WTF? Why can't you f*cking drunken bastard collect your trash after you leave? Why must you litter the place? Why can't the municipality do something about this?
This is a problem on 2 levels: i) the stupid selfish third-worldish mentality and ii) the quasi non-involvement of the municipality... Now, the mentality, god knows when or if it will change to understand the consequences of its actions on mother nature... The municipality on the other hand, I WILL do something about. So I took pictures of all the littered dirty places, will write to the newspaper, the guy in charge of the city, the mo'tamdya, the gouvernorat, and the ministry of environment.
Perhaps it will be a waste of time, a small insignificant thing to whoemenver, but frnakly, I will feel better, because at least I did something, I did not just take the fatalistic attitude of "it's a shame, but what can you do?".... There is always something you can do, and if after the first try nothing happens, I will keep on writing, and harassing, until my voice is heard...
So there.
Now, trust me when I say that I am not always complaining or whinning... Really, it is not in my nature, but again, please view my questions or venting as a way of understanding my surroundings... A way to comprehend what is going on, because that is my nature. I need to understand why people do the things they do.
So, to get back to the subject. During the hike, while enjoying the beautiful cork oak trees, I start seeing empty beer cans... So just for "fun" and to see the extent of this disaster, we start counting the cans while climbing. Within the short span of 30 minutes, we hit 50 cans, and honestly I just had to stop because it was depressing me... Understand that this area, in the north of Africa gets snow, is very green, and very unique in its landscape (you will see the pictures I took very soon)... Nothing that the average european/american can understand (they always thing of tunisia a sandy landscape, not a mountainous green one). In my eyes, we have something precious and beautiful that we need to take care of, to preserve and to be proud of.
How do some show this pride? By filling the freakin forest with cans of beer, sardines, yogurt, and harissa. WTF? Why can't you f*cking drunken bastard collect your trash after you leave? Why must you litter the place? Why can't the municipality do something about this?
This is a problem on 2 levels: i) the stupid selfish third-worldish mentality and ii) the quasi non-involvement of the municipality... Now, the mentality, god knows when or if it will change to understand the consequences of its actions on mother nature... The municipality on the other hand, I WILL do something about. So I took pictures of all the littered dirty places, will write to the newspaper, the guy in charge of the city, the mo'tamdya, the gouvernorat, and the ministry of environment.
Perhaps it will be a waste of time, a small insignificant thing to whoemenver, but frnakly, I will feel better, because at least I did something, I did not just take the fatalistic attitude of "it's a shame, but what can you do?".... There is always something you can do, and if after the first try nothing happens, I will keep on writing, and harassing, until my voice is heard...
So there.
06 January 2006
Adaptation
I've been back home now for over 5 months... and there are things that I've yet to understand... Friends and family say "you'll adapt" soon enough. It really got me thinking on what this supposed adaptation means. What IS adaptation (besides a very interesting movie) ? Is it adjustment? Is it getting used to some things? or perhaps accepting them? And wouldn't accepting the things you criticize or view as wrong a sort of step back?
Truth is, there are some things that I will never change my habits or get used to what I deem to be wrong. I have come to realize that I cannot change an entire society. I have to simply to accept the way things are, not adapt to them, as in, do as they do, but simply try, somehow to comprehend a particular behavior and not get angry over it.
One example is the wearing of the seat belt... There is this... this... refusal, this obstination, in not wearing one, that I cannot comprehend. Why on earth do you refuse to perform a simple gesture that could save your life? Why would you ask me not to wear one because it is not obligatory? Do we do some things in life simply because they are required? And if so, why would you run through red lights or not use your turning signal (this incidentally is a rare occurence over here, people just switch lanes, from all directions, without notice)... The roads stress me out. Perhaps when I start being on the road myself, I will be able to somehow accept this way of being.
But for the time being, I still cringe.
Truth is, there are some things that I will never change my habits or get used to what I deem to be wrong. I have come to realize that I cannot change an entire society. I have to simply to accept the way things are, not adapt to them, as in, do as they do, but simply try, somehow to comprehend a particular behavior and not get angry over it.
One example is the wearing of the seat belt... There is this... this... refusal, this obstination, in not wearing one, that I cannot comprehend. Why on earth do you refuse to perform a simple gesture that could save your life? Why would you ask me not to wear one because it is not obligatory? Do we do some things in life simply because they are required? And if so, why would you run through red lights or not use your turning signal (this incidentally is a rare occurence over here, people just switch lanes, from all directions, without notice)... The roads stress me out. Perhaps when I start being on the road myself, I will be able to somehow accept this way of being.
But for the time being, I still cringe.
03 January 2006
Social image
During various discussions I've had with friends and family, I've come to realize that things are not quite the same as I thought... The concept of one's image is rather important as it can (apparently) make or break you. I understand fully the concept and I know that in the frame of a society, it goes without saying that we have to behave differently depending on who/where we are and who we are talking to.
The trouble I am having is when this concept of a "social image" becomes the only thing that matters to you. What do I mean by that? I mean that whenever you do something, you do for other's sake, and not your own. I think that it can become very dangerous, and is condusive to enforcing a sheep mentality. Put on whatever clothes you want because you want to put them, drink whatever you desire, and speak your mind... Just because things have been in a particular way for some time, does not mean that it is a good thing.
Moreover, don't make a big deal out of the trivialities of life... Think of the big picture... Think of the fact that you will die and try to do those things that will matter to you in your old age... What will you remember when you are 80? The way you gathered with your friends and family or the food you obsessed about making?
I guess my point is this, don't limit yourself, and realize that there is much more in life to discover and see... And please, just because you choose to do some things in your own way, don't make me change just so that you can stick a label easily on me.
The trouble I am having is when this concept of a "social image" becomes the only thing that matters to you. What do I mean by that? I mean that whenever you do something, you do for other's sake, and not your own. I think that it can become very dangerous, and is condusive to enforcing a sheep mentality. Put on whatever clothes you want because you want to put them, drink whatever you desire, and speak your mind... Just because things have been in a particular way for some time, does not mean that it is a good thing.
Moreover, don't make a big deal out of the trivialities of life... Think of the big picture... Think of the fact that you will die and try to do those things that will matter to you in your old age... What will you remember when you are 80? The way you gathered with your friends and family or the food you obsessed about making?
I guess my point is this, don't limit yourself, and realize that there is much more in life to discover and see... And please, just because you choose to do some things in your own way, don't make me change just so that you can stick a label easily on me.
02 January 2006
i am a fool
Because I am a fool and paranoid about security, and because I've not posted in a while, I totally forgot my passwords and the email account I had associated with my ex-blog (sleeplessjojo.blogspot.com). I tried to see if I could go without it, but I can't. I really miss it, and these days, venting is even more necessary than before... so here's my first (again) stab at getting back on the blog road...
I guess this is really the best way to start the year and to get myself to be less angry, anxious, or whatever it is that is making me hyper.
I guess this is really the best way to start the year and to get myself to be less angry, anxious, or whatever it is that is making me hyper.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)